At a Far, FAR away land...

My favourite composer

2009-11-17T00:38:00.002+08:00

Someone reminded me again of the movie "Departures".

I watched this in January, i think. On a Friday night.

The Japanese film left me leaving the theatre filled with emotion and thought. While (yes, i did cry, again) I did sob myself silly in the theatre, a lot of other words, pictures, scenes and what not, played in my mind while the show was screening.

I remember thinking about how fragile life is. Haha I know it is cliched, and i always didnt like how people tell me life is fragile. but i couldnt help but realise how true it was, that a person can be well alive and next to you today, and be away with the Lord or gone forever, tomorrow.

Departures, death - It's hard to fathom, really.

and to make the movie even more emotional, the music was so heart grabbing and prolly only to me (out of the whole group of us who went to watch it together), very tear jerking. I could somehow sense the heart of the composer when he wrote the music - i could feel the emotion that, when coupled with the music, the actor portrayed almost perfectly.

Of course that brings me to the main point of this entry - the music of the man behind the very intriguing music soundtrack of Okuribito, the movie.

The music of Joe Hisaishi.

I was just listening back at the entire album again. and although this is probably the 100th time i've heard the pieces, a lot of strange emotion is pulled back out of me. the heart again feels a tug and a little ache for awhile. until now i've no idea what in the music causes the ache. but to draw out emotion like that with just a piece of music, says a lot about the writer of the music.

I'd first heard his music in band arrangements for "Mononoke Hime" and "An Animation Medley". Already, i was deeply moved by the sensational melodies of the music. I'm not an expert in music here, so it's very difficult to describe the steange attraction i have to Joe Hisaishi's music.

The best thing was I actually seem pulled to ALL his soundtracks particularly. Howl's Moving Castle, one of my all-time favourite animes with an all-time favourite soundtrack, was one of them. I was so drawn to the music - more than that of the very famous and critically acclaimed Spirited Away.

then i was watching a Korean drama series: the Legend (the one with Bae Yong Jun)

and somehow i recognised his style of music - i said to myself,"sounds a bit like the mononoke hime soundtrack" and when i googled the soundtrack, there i saw his name on all the tracks and secretly gave myself a pat on my back, saying, "well done, you recognised him".

then came Okuribito - again i was absolutely drawn to the melody and the ability to draw out so much emotion from me when i listen to the music - so i googled again and there his big name was, Joe Hisaishi.

and the third instant - although this is quite a not-so-young movie, i only recently got to hear on the radio or TV the soundtrack of "A Chinese Tall Story". again i thought the music was nice, and googled it. Guess whose name I saw there?

No prizes for guessing :P

My point is, Joe Hisaishi is truly one of the greatest modern day composers i know. I mean, there are prolly others who are fabulous too, but as far as I'm concerned, he's my fav. and a great pianist and live performer too. I will give up a day at work to go see him live if he ever holds a concert in Singapore. And to show my support, i will make sure i get the best seat i can.

so looking forward to his arrival in Singapore, here's my standing ovation to Joe Hisaishi-sama

BRAVO!

2009-05-28T11:18:00.001+08:00

i've nv felt so alone...

2009-04-14T12:47:00.002+08:00

I mean, i know it's obviously only right that two people don't meet up for nearly an entire month due to exams and work stress.

but how is it that anyone else can think that even amidst the busy schedules, that the two people are FEELING OKAY and should not be missing each other at all? Surely there will be a bit of time in a day that one is thinking of the other and vice versa right?

sometimes i feel like my actions are now being governed by my head, never my heart anymore..

in fact, it's not only my actions... i think it's my feelings and everything else.. because it seems wrong to let your heart do some feeling to anyone else other than God.

don't get me wrong. i'm really not angry at God... i love God. to bits. and i'm enjoying the fact i'm growing closer and closer to Him. but u know, instructions and all. As much as I'd really like to listen, i've so many question marks in my head. and in the end, I just obey without really really understanding. cos I think it's prolly a hassle for the other party to explain it to ME again and again until i really get it..

aiyar... aiyar.... aiyar......

2009-03-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

my dear,

i've been energised again lately.. :)

BLOGS THAT ARE NOT UPDATED SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN.

2009-02-09T15:38:00.002+08:00

BLOGS THAT ARE NOT UPDATED SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN.

the above statement was said to me quite firmly by my cousin Denise TWICE in a week :)

So here i am...

so my blog wont be eligible for "closing down".

So I've watched 2 movies this week:

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

&

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

hmmm.

I actually enjoyed both. Contrary what a dear friend said about Underworld, it is not just the western-fantasy version of Red Cliff. It's really about slavery and my gosh you should see the resemblence some scenes had with Passion of the Christ.. plus the famous line which i'd burst out laughing at. Brace yourselves....
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..
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"It is finished."

...................

hahahahahahaa.

Anyway, moving onto Benjamin Button.

Brad Pitt was attractive....... but not that kinda sexy type, nor did i find him particularly desirable. but he truly acted well in the show.. that's what made him so attractive. he portrayed Benjamin Button well..

I especially loved the effects of the shots. How they managed to make Cate Blanchett look like a porcelain doll when she was "young Daisy". Gorgeous, I say. and the hair colour! If any tng lang (hokkien for Chinese) should try to attempt the colour, she would just look like nothing more than a chao ah lian (hokkien for the chinese equivalent of your average american street delinquents who think they've got style but oh my gosh they don't know what they really look like).

okay I am VERY impressed with how they DI-ed Pitt's face onto every single frame onto the midget's body to portray the old him at 7 years of age. omg. so very very cool, and so very very hard work. I think they must have also DI-ed his face onto the teenage him...

and I like the effect of the relationship between Benajmin and Daisy. When he was say "70-years-old" and met Daisy, she was 5.

When he died, he died a baby, while Daisy was 70+. That had to have a lot of meaning, right? But Ms Daisy sure lived a long life.... she looked terribly crinkled on her deathbed. In the movie she died I think when Hurricane Katrina was about to hit New Orleans, Louisiana.

Anyway, it was moving, and gave a lot to think about. It wasn't all magical and stuff, Benjamin Button wasn't some famous star for being born old - in fact not many people knew that he was in fact just 7 when he looked 70. I quite liked how realistic the whole story was portrayed. It's like... incongruity. I think?

It's just something that can never happen, but it was made so... natural, the course of his life.....

anyway my mind is still filled with the show, nothing much to think abt now other than that.

it's 4 mths to HK. I'm going to BKK this Saturday and I can hardly wait! we need lots of prayers to keep us safe while we're there tho. I can't deny that I am still a littleeeee bit worried. but yea i trust God to keep us safe. not like as if i knew they were gonna set some stupid deadline on the 15th and went ahead to book anyway. nth was mentioned what.....

okay then so here's the end of my rather long post. happppy?? heh.

2008-10-14T00:00:00.002+08:00

oops. i've been so busy the past 2 months i forgot all abt blogging.

nevertheless, i'll share a little little bit. these two months could probably have been the darkest moments. not really in tt i was suicidal and all, but it's the two months where i felt most disconnected with God. and till saturday, like the one that just passed, i really couldnt find myself connected to God at all. i couldnt hear him, i couldnt sense or feel him.

i wondered what was wrong... perhaps, it's me who forgot abt him. amidst my busy schedule, and fun and laughter, i completely forgot he was there all along. and i need to take the coming weeks, months or even years to find back what i was when i was 4, when i heard him, loud and clear.. i want to go back to that. i dont want to sin no more.

at this moment, my sister has gone to the states for 2 months now. everyone's asking the obvious - if i miss her or not. of course i do lar. i cant wait for her to come back.. we've so many things to talk abt. and talking to her via msn or skype, just kinda makes me miss her more. i'm just not used living apart from her. the last time i went to the US for a month and the last time she went too, it didnt feel tt long. i guess cos we knew tt we'd be back in a month. but she's there.. and whilst she has made many friends, i just kinda wish i can be there with her to know what she's been up to, meet her friends and also hear her updating me every night with whatever happened in sch and all.. of course not leaving out the gossips la. gossips between the two of us, as everyone knows, is a large part of our lives together. hahahaha. it's a bit hard living as the only child at home now... and yea u know i could force my sister to accompany me for dinner last time. but till next june that wont be happening. it seems so far away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh ya abt sch. i dont even know what's gonna happen next.... tho it's prolly my last trimester doin my degree, but i somehow just feel tt as usual, the sch never fails to screw up on something. and these screw ups totally worry us more than our actual studies do. giving us undue pressure and stress. i've got a lot more white hair now than before. also 'cause of age, but ya you get my drift.

i hope things get better some how...

regarding my spiritual life, someone told me he senses that God's working in me. I'd really like to seek and find out more abt this work.... i feel that i could be reborn again... :)

2008-08-06T23:30:00.002+08:00

another 10 half hours to sister's flight.

frankly am upset abt her leaving, then again i'm so proud of her, so proud that she's achieved so much and done so well to be able to go on this prestigious trip.. i would never have been able to be like this, she's sorta fulfilled my dream for me, in a sense.

every year seems more and more difficult for me to go through, and this year seems worse than the last. my sis, is abt the only person i can actually cry like crazy to, when i'm so stressed so stressed. well, at least when we're the only ones at home i can cry out loud, u know, at least someone is supporting me without actually crying with me (my mom would).

uhhhhhh............ i know i know...... 1 year is gonna pass by SUPER QUICKLY!

but you know you know, my sis has never been away from home for so long. and while i'm quite confident she can take care of herself, somehow i'm just worried cos she's so far from home...

although i wish i can go see her there (a bit for the selfish reason of wanting to travel too lar), i really cant, i dont have the leave nor the money. ahahhaha. so sad !

anyway, cant wait for one year to go past, so tt, i dont have to sleep alone in my room anymore..

2008-07-25T23:48:00.002+08:00

we've been catching up only briefly in the last 2 years, over msn and an occasional text msg.

we ask each other out to dinner each time we communicate.

we never do go out to dinner

maybe it's good we don't meet up, we're not the same anymore...

only thing is, i really really really miss what we used to be, how we started out knowing each other inside out since 9 years ago.

i really miss you.

THE REPLIES

2008-07-14T18:19:00.002+08:00

nah, your long awaited replies... fyi we didnt go back

Dear Amanda,

Im sorry to have caused the unpleasant visit to the LK at Thomson. I will seriously look into this matter and William our brand ambassador to give you a satisfactory explanation. Thank you for your patience.

Regards,
Elaine

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Dear Ms Lim,

Thank you for patronizing our Liquid Kitchen outlet.

Please accept our most sincerely apologies for your unpleasant experience.

The quality of service and product provided at Liquid Kitchen are of upmost importance to us
and the disappointment you had that day was not intended.

Please be assured that corrective measures have been taken promptly and we will make every effort to improve on our staff service standards render to all our valuable customers.

Ms Lim, we hope that this incident will not reflect unfavourably on us and we would like to request for an opportunity to regain your confidence again.

We would like to invite you and your friend back for a meal at Liquid Kitchen at a time of your convenience.

You may contact me, William at 96856866 to let me know your preferred date/time and your choice of outlets.

Once again, thank you for your valuable feedback and we look forward to welcoming you back to Liquid Kitchen.

Sincerely
William

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Hi Amanda,

Thank you very much for your valuable feedback.

It was my utmost pleasure to speak with you on the phone and we most sincerely wish to invite you and your friends to patronize one of these premium bars I have suggested to you.

Please let me know which will be your choice of venue and I will make an arrangement for a complimentary meal for you and your friends.

1) ARCHIPELAGO @ 79 Circular Road

Or

2) THE TOUCAN IRISH PUB @ 15 Duxton Hill

Please do contact me at my mobile or drop me an email anytime and my contacts are listed below. Hope to see you and your friends soon!

With warmest regards,
Geraldine Tay
Marketing Manager
OCTOPUS HOLDINGS PTE LTD

2008-06-30T11:03:00.002+08:00

my visit to the liquid kitchen, 20th June 2008:

Dear Elaine,

I'm writing to inform you of a most unpleasant visit to the Liquid Kitchen outlet at Thomson, on Friday night, 20th June 2008.

I was recommended by my colleague to check out Liquid Kitchen outlet at Thomson as she had enjoyed some good chill-out sessions at this cozy neighbourhood hang-out joint. Hence, looking for an enjoyable evening, 6 of my friends headed over.

Unfortunately, my enjoyment of the chill out session was spoiled by a number of service problems. As a paying consumer, I am very concerned regarding the service attitude of the service crew including the outlet manager/supervisor who’s first name is Colin.

On the evening of the incident, we placed an order for some finger foods along with 3 buckets of Heineken, one peach and one strawberry drink during happy hour, before 9pm. At about 1am, we asked for the bill, however, the receipt did not match the “20% discount off all beverages” during happy hours as stated in front of the menu. A check within the menu also did not indicate an asterisk* to specify that the bucket of Heineken did not qualify for the 20% discount. There were also no standees on the tables to indicate the above.

In order to clarify this, we approached two service staff but were disappointed with the quality of replies. In addition, the 3rd person whom we spoke to, manager/supervisor (Colin), not only did not manage to explain the situation properly, was also most impolite to deal with our queries.
Upon describing the situation, Colin explained that there was no discount on all bucket promotions as he claimed that there’s an unwritten rule that all buckets are always on promotion.

After pointing out to Colin that the menu did not have a clear indication, Colin, who could not explain this, decided to revise the bill to include the 20% discount out of goodwill.

In turn, we thus gave a friendly feedback that in future, it’s advisable that this is indicated in the menu to prevent future misinterpretation. However, Colin was very curt, extending his hand and with a tough handshake said, “For your information, wherever you go, in the F&B industry, buckets are always on promotion price, just to let you know". That was really uncalled for.
Though Colin did eventually come back with a revised bill with 20% discount, his attitude was less than commendable. He was evidently displeased with the whole incident and was very unprofessional in the way he dealt with us, his customers.

Before we signed off the bill, we commented that we do not appreciate such an attitude from a service staff. Not only did he not apologize, he very curtly said, “Young ladies, I have been in this industry long enough to know what the service line is all about. I do not wish to carry on this conversation because it's over. It is out of goodwill that I am giving you a 20% discount. Please sign this and let’s get this over with.”

Needless to say, we left immediately with a bitter after taste of the bad service experience.
Firstly, it is extremely rude to cut a customer off while she's speaking. I dare say that even though we had a few drinks, we were sane enough to know what we were talking about. As for myself, I witnessed the whole episode as the most sober, having consumed not more than a few sips of alcohol.

As staff of the service line, we should never ever assume the customer knows in-and-out the rules of the industry.

Also, we are obliged to listen to the customer while he/she is giving us feedback. Whether or not reasonable, I believe frontline staff should never reply in such a curt manner to a positive feedback.

Pardon me if I'm being sensitive, but he had an implied meaning when he emphasized "Young Ladies".

As someone dealing with customer relations, he should not have cut us off by telling us that he did not want to continue the conversation. As consumers, and staff of a regional company, and serving a very large database of customers and consumers in the beauty industry every day, I believe we have every right to give our feedback as customers to your staff.

We do hope to see improvement after this feedback. Frankly, it is not the 20% less we had to pay. This 20% was minor, but it bought us unhappiness, unreasonable treatment as customers and heaps of unnecessary comments. I hope you understand that such things should not happen considering the large experience Colin claims to have had in the service industry.

My friend, who frequents Liquid Kitchen, Thomson, was utterly disappointed and has promised not to return. Also, the rest of us, including myself, will seriously reconsider entering your outlets.

I would advice that you look into the quality service of this manager, Colin, to ensure the good name of the company and that such experiences does not occur in Thomson or in any of your other outlets anymore.

Thank you.

What a long complaint letter! wahahahaha. It was edited quite a few times by several of us.

But i think it was a good letter. :D

2008-06-10T15:45:00.001+08:00

hihi yea i'm back for just a bit.

it's been so long. hahaha. time seems to have passed so quickly. i dont really know what i'm doing now, but i'm trying to gain back control of my life. So collecting my thoughts and what i'm doing now, i'm kinda really busy with work, school (not new at all) and now going to be more involved in ministry. Happy to do that though. hahaha. happy little bird.

2008-06-01T22:32:00.001+08:00

sometimes i wish i can just be carefree again.

it's not so easy when you're already my age. and, obviously not smart enough to still be studying in a university, and to be on a scholarship, and to be going for an exchange programme like everyone else around you. of course, not rich enough to just pay and do it by yourself either.

haaa

2008-01-14T15:46:00.000+08:00

Finally, my new hair. Not very short, but honestly much much shorter than before.. right?

Before I cut my hair, I went to the NP Band concert at SCH. Man, was it one of the best NP band has ever done. Made me feel proud to have been part of it before. At least they're picking up again lar. :) Really glad! Anyhow, I only have a few photos in my phone so here goes:

Sarah Jane and myself in my LONG hair

Chewy Chiu and myself!

And that's the end of the photo montage. When I'm free, I'll update with more photos. Sadly, the blog has turned into a photo blog rather than a reflection of my life. But whatever. Oh I've some good photos from my events!! Will put them up some time soon. hehe be sure to take a look :) It's what makes me job interesting!

2007-12-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

KBOX NEVER DIES, ONLY PEOPLE DO

Hello, decided to be a bit more colourful today. Haha. Had a good off day. Though I was supposed to be at home doing my school work, I used the time to do something equally meaningful and hm.. just as important to me. I spent time with the 4 shorties (plus me, it's 5)!! oh you have no idea the fun we always have when we're out. Really. it's just CRAZY. roaring with laughter everywhere, screaming our heads off like we're still young, boy i HATE being 21. I hate time. I miss my poly days like crazy. I reallllllllllllllllllllly miss my poly days. I really miss hanging out so much with these crazy, wacky friends of mine. I miss studying in Ngee Ann Poly. I miss everything abt FMS (except the elitists)

Okay, right now while I'm supposed to be studying and writing my essay, i'm wasting more time typing out an entry on the blog. And it's not as if by doing that I earn money like XiaXue. tsk.

Whatever man, talking abt money, i hate money matters. I hate not having enough money. I feel that my company's really not paying me well enough lei. I should protest soon (ok dare me, I probably wont dare to do it). Maybe, if I get head-hunted by another company, I must make sure my pay's at least 1.5X this man. Really. =/ so depressing. I cant wait to get my degree also. at least, with the paper it means higher pay, again. hahaha. yay!!!!

I dont even know why i'm so tired. I just am. haha. not muc reason needed to explain right. tmr chiong home after work, chiong ALL my assignments. Make sure no matter how late i sleep. i finish at least 1 module of assignments which have been due a few days ago. depressing shit. sigh. dunno what to do abt this also. please Pray that my stupid lecturer will realise the xiong-ness of studying and working part-time and realise it's freaking 1.5 - 2k to pay for each freaking module. tsk........ oh dear..

Of wizards and muggles

2007-11-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

I finally finished Harry Potter and the deathly Hollows.

FINALLY.

not too happy with the ending, but what the heck. the whole book's just gone from children's fairytale/fantasty to adult gruesome killings, albeit the happy ending. quite cheesy too. "well done", J.K. Rowling.

haha. So it's been some 20 days since my last post, and somehow the time seems to have flown past really quickly. YET, i feel like November's been long. BECAUSE IT'S STILL SOME DAYS AWAY TO PAY DAY. having no money kinda irritates me. and then there are so many rubbish things to pay for. I like staying at home. I reallly do. I love my house. hahaha. i love the TV.

Anyways, it's hell fortnight man. haha. crazy two weeks here, whether at work or at school. this week especially. it's my event on saturday so there's a lot to build up in terms of planning. and then at school, i've got my exam on monday and thursday, and 2 essays and 2 journals and 1 portfolio to hand in. It's crazy. really. I dunno how i'm gonna finish. with work, it's literally impossible. :( how come just because the company's not payin for my studies, i cant take exam leave? no link lo.. others can take, i cannot. not fair, not fair. but what to do right?

ah well, as time goes by, I just feel like I'm getting old, frail and grumpy. No longer leading a vibrant lifestyle, just one that gives me stress and more stress. And it's not very good, is it? Life just seems colourless. Nothing to get hyped up about, getting irritated when people try to hype me up and I really don't feel like it. What is this, early-20s crisis? I hate sounding all depressed and pathetic, but guess what - I really feel depressed and pathetic, and sickeningly self-pitying.

Sickening.

So what's new with everyone? Or has my blog been long dead that no one sees it anymore?

2007-11-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh. Time flew by so quickly and it's been 4 months since I re-visited MY OWN BLOG. Sorry people hahaha. Peee, so sorry, i just saw your tag. I really haven't visited this "writer-forsaken" place for quite some time..

Time has been realllllllllllllllly tight. With regards to this, I don't even know where to begin. I've been swamped with so many events since my first day at work in my current company, and with school and all, things are just crazy.

For your info, I'm NOT doing okay :( I'm not coping well. But, life still goes on. I will have to press on with this lifestyle for just another year, and I'm prolly over and done with it! hahaha. YAY!!!

Well, everything's going pretty okay with me except that I'm very overly stressed out. Yea. Wondering why? I've loads to tell, but I don't know again where to start, with the many many events and happenings within these few months. My gosh I am now slacking off my stupid essays to even type this. Hahahaha. I cant type anything productive on microsoft word anyways :D Not at the moment at least. hahahaha.

Okay, so I'll try to at least update this damn thing soon. as soon as I can. I'll uhhh. Update with some photos first then :)

Btw, my lappy has gone for repair. Poor lappy. Bad fan kinda screwed it all up. And I miss having a social life......... argh!~

Okay photos:

My sis and I

My sis and I again. this time at our cousin's wedding. Church wedding :)

At the Wedding dinner, the jie meis:

This is a not so nice photo of the bride and myself; I know she looks gorgeous enough here already. Trust me when you see other photos, you'll get an even better idea of how prettyyyyy she reallly realllllllllly is :D And no doubt I look like a tranny here HAHAHA

My little cousin Rachel :)

I'll end off here k.. nice typing such a long msg again :D

2007-06-27T15:46:00.001+08:00

Okay. Thanks Sarah Jane for illustrating how far the ball rolled. Yes, my blog is mouldy.

It shall be scrubbed of all mould again. My life is really uM, packed now. Not really life lar more like time.

As most of you would know, I'm now studying part-time, so that makes more evenings not free. In fact, if I could I would try not to go out so often already because I only have 2 weeknights free and I would want to stay home to spend time with my family and of course study hard. Yea I haven't been doing that well, because of so much stress and all.

But anyhow, it's the start of a new day, a new life for me. My journey with my first job has finally ended, now it's time to take a step out into a totally new world and environment. (sounds serious, but actually I'm really very happy!)

Oh well. Updates are many, but let's go back to the latest few events, shall we? That's Cluster camp and cell outings! haha. see pictures:

This is Our cell at cluster camp!

Another cell shot

This is my cell group!!

S8 with Sarah & Ps. LaiFun

And then, S8 decided to be sweet and go out with me to celebrate my getting a new job! =D Too bad Gerry and Camy couldn't make it. But here goes:

Ya ok stop looking at the fat legs. Look at Putri Wina's Legs, not mine

I'm going to start jogging. And I'm determined to lose weight. I've until October to look realllly pretty for my cousin's wedding. Of course, again time on my side's extremely tight. Aiya okay, I'll find a way to lose weight.

***DISCLAIMER: HELLO I'M NOT SAYING I'M FAT I JUST WANT TO LOSE A BIT MORE WEIGHT SO I CAN FIT INTO A DRESS PROPERLY OKAY I DONT HAVE ZERO SELF ESTEEM SO DON'T SCOLD ME....

Omg I've tons of things to buy. I've A LOT of office skirts and pants to look for - woe is me - because my new office requires office wear! Can I vomit blood or what... hahaha. but it's a good excuse to go shopping.

Now that I've a week's break, I'll have a good rest, study hard (I've a test tomorrow) and of course shop for my necessities. YY LET'S GO SHOPPING!! =D

Okay, Mandy's gotta study hard, work hard, and serve God real hard. Everything I have I owe it to God. He gave me my new job and blessed me. He led me out of Egypt into a new promised land. Hahahahaha. Alright, my new found happiness. Here I come!

2007-05-26T00:20:00.000+08:00

Wow it's been really long.. Sorry everyone, I've been going through a rough rough time. I'll update again soon, but thought I'd just type a line or two here first. To you know, start the ball rolling... lol.

My 21st Birthday

2007-03-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh... The perks of being 21....

uh. what perks?

Hahaha. Nevertheless, I'm 21!! 15th March, my special day.

A special thanks to every single person who has made this year's birthday a memorable one for me =D

My celebration started on last thursday 8 Mar- with my cousins! heh. My beloved Lim cousins - we had dinner at Manna, quite a well-known korean restaurant. food was great! then we had dessert and basically just spent the time catching up on everything... I love cousin gatherings! hehe.

the next was on Sat 10 Mar - with Danny and Andrew. My two little gay boys.. haha. Love them so much! their gayish existence brings me joy =)

They brought me to buy my present - perfume!! hahaha. It was a little costly though..
Then they brought me for dinner, no where else to go but BakerzIn since Paragon was the nearest. hahaha. NO CHOICE. but dinner was lovely anyhow. We went for dessert, then walked around and chatted A LOT. and I loved the part. hahahaa they just made me laugh like mad. really like MAD. I love Danny n Andrew Yap lar! Please, meet up more often lar okay! And thanks for making me feel so special!! Like a princess okayyyyy.... for once i was given the royal treatment heh

Next on 12 Mar, Mon - dinner with my family! hahaha. Well. As usual we have a great time - nothing much to talk about here cos my family's just my family, hahahaha. 3 women laughing at one man... poor daddy. I love~

Tues, 13 Mar - Dinner with shorties without Val n YY... Sam and Skye really made my day~ heh. Sam gave me a cute make-up pouch and Skye got me a book.. WHICH IS SUPER FUNNY... and I DONT USUALLY READ, but this is an exception cos it's a funny book! Quite an interesting story lar. But anyway, we ate in Manhattan, and niceeeeee. I really enjoyed myself. Of course, our dearest sam and skye decided to malu me with a big loud birthday song hahahaha. But i appreciate having Sam and Skye around, I love you both lar!! I love all shorties !!!

Wed 14 Mar - Happening night. Met Peixian, Jeremy and Nathaniel for mala steamboat! Well technically it wasn't mala. We took tomyam and pork rib soup. =) Dinner was great, we ate A LOT...... eh the food was really quite good lar. we ate loads of meats and mushrooms hahaha. and Veggies! oh and instant noo too. -.- but it was great lar dinner... Jeremy treated me! muahahaha. Thanks Mr Kwan! (=

We had.......................... MAHJONG THE ENTIRE NIGHT! hahahaha after dinner, we took a bus down to Nat's place to play mahjong. Speaking of mahjong, I've to thank Nat's mom for being such a wonderful host... heh. And Theodore, for guiding my mahjong games without asking for school fees. =D Hope you had a good sleep!

Nat thanks for first opening up your home, then playing with us (actually just accomodating me) till so late and driving us home in the wee hours... thanks!

Jeremy & Nat: Thanks for the Bag!! I love it!! really do man. trust your taste arr =D

Peixian dearie thanks for organising this thing and accompanying me.... and buying me the tinkerbell Necklace! i LOVEEE it lar super super nice! hahaha. And i really had a great time with you guys, honest. we must do this more often.....

15 Mar - thanks to everyone who smsed, left a testimonial/message on friendster, or msn-ed me a birthday greeting. Every single greeting is much appreciated and everyone of them touched me. Even from daddy. hehe. so touching... reallllllly verry touching...

I also have to thank YY for meeting me up to have lunch, walk around...etc =D Thanks YY! I always love your company! heh. At least spending the day with such a good friend of mine... haha better than slacking the day at home what. Let lizards crawl on my legs ar. yuck..

Now down to my dear cell group. Thanks for the surprise. Thanks for embarrassing me in front of thousands of pple -.- HAHAHA. BUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU. but u all embarrassed me until quite jia lat okay! wah piangs, the PECULIAR birthday gift, the extremely loud and off-pitch birthday song, the announcement to the world that I'm officially 21 - can join the auntie's club... tsk tsk. I seriously had nowhere to hide my little red face lar.. hahaa. and you know what happens next...

heh. I dunno what's in store for me in the next few days.. let's just pray my cell group doesnt embarrass me any further.. i was so worried about the embarrassment bit, i thought they had their fun with Janelle and Camy so they'd let me off. APPARENTLY NOT! haha then again, didnt think Janelle and Camy would let me off after my enthusiastic participation in making their 21st birthdays equally embarrassing...............

2007-02-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

Yes Peee... I saw your tag.. hahaha.

Before I continue with my NP band string of posts.. here's a little sidetrack:

Went to the PSS2 Grand Finals last Sunday. It was interesting, Kwan's tickets were really good.. we sat quite near the stage, and boy was I retarded man. Hahaha. Though I'm not usually like tt, I was screaming and cheering for uhhh.. people I didnt know hahha.

Cos I took tickets from the guys, it automatically meant that I had to sit on Daren's side. Haha. Although of course I had two Daren supporters by my side.. We all thought Diya did better, but of course Daren still won in the end. His supporters were like -.- super hard core ardent supporters man. But aiya it was still a good show. With pple like Cao Ge singing "live" my gosh i was BLOWN AWAY lo! oh and i acted like a complete idiot and screamed like a die-hard fan when he turned around to say "hiii" to my section. you have no idea... pabo! as janelle always says ahaha.

Ahhh. Being the superstar and standing on stage must be a fantastic experience. heh but I'm not one of them. I experienced the stage in a completely different way, and loved it too.. love love love... I really miss the stage.....

Coming back to BANDDDD.

I miss playing on stage. I miss Victoria Concert Hall. I miss NP Convention Centre (albeit the sucky acoustics). I miss the music room.. I even miss running in and out of SDAR.

I MISS BAND. I MISS MY AH LAO!!!! omg~ the golden beauty, passed down to me by my dear senior Wilson. I can never forget my beautiful instrument.... WHERE'S MY FRENCH HORN, DUDE?!

hahaha I was a bit mad there. hmmmm. ya, I really miss the band experience. The performing, the handling of events, the super funny (trying to be serious) scoldings I gave to the band (got them all laughing at me), all the rushing and all the fun I had with my music. -cry-

Ok let's talk abt my friends now. First and foremost, my darling sista Peee:

Ratty in the house!! heh, on my second visit (there was a 3-month gap from the first to second) to NP band prac, I met this girl... we instantly hit it off! Power right, I was already talking to her a lot a lot. she of course took the initiative to talk to me first and get me used to the horn section. then, it was still me her and fatt in year1, with justin and wilson. heh. It was fun then! Our section was the best la, I felt. tho i had a lot of catching up to do.. heh.

when Justin & Wilson left, Peee Fatt and I were left to struggle on our own. Thankfully, Fatt being an excellent player, gave me a lot of motivation. Me and Peee often practiced together. With the seniors around we played ALL the same parts. Then I moved on to the mid-range to higher parts like 1st & 3rd horn, cos I was better in those notes, while Peee was a good base. All this time I was also training my lower notes (which i became better at by third year). Heh. We really had a ball of a time together, the three of us. We really stuck together like glue, for the sake of the section. Of course me and Peee were definitely a lot closer la, compared to Fatt with us. Then Nickszeto entered. then we had horn quartet! heh. we sounded good okay... Canon, my fav piece! heh.

Anyway, Peee and I just stuck together all day long, it was so fun having her around! She taught me mandarin and I taught her english. we trained each other, but she trained me more in mandarin. So i really owe my better mandarin speaking to her (and later on YY also helped me la). heh... everyone knew us as sistas. We shared a really close friendship in band.. huh? =D I miss you Peee!!!

We had this piece that had a movement called "Ratty & the Mole" and I mean obviously since she was Ratty, and Mole was supposed to be (in the story) the Rat's best friend, I was named the mole la.. durh. heh. Our adventures since year1 were absolutely uncountable. From the days tt the other seniors and other band pple hated us, to us becoming friends with all of them, to us growing into second-years and all, haha it's been an amazing journey.

Omg and Peee introduced me to the world of tonning hAHA. We have a fantastic tonning-kaki group of friends, all of whom Peee actually introduced to me. We have Jaz, Jason Goh, Ling Qian, Adam, Karto, Peee and Myself (Cheng Danny n Zhihui joined in later).

Boy was it fun fun fun!!! They bullied Peee a lot hahaha. Peee gets bullied a lot anyways. hor peee?

But I love Peee. heh... =)

I'll blog abt the rest later... bu yao xin ji!

2007-01-26T20:25:00.000+08:00

Had a good talk with one of my band (Main & Rondeau) Comm bros, Sam, a few days ago...

Sorta just realised how much I miss band, I miss the 4 guys very much ar. So this post is dedicated to the 4 bestest guys who stuck out with me from the beginning of the main comm all the way till we finished up our Rondeau... Namely Merrill, Binster, Sam and Fatt the fisher..
(Dear Peee, Leen, Chengster and other good friends, it'll be your turn next!)

haha. Well let's talk about the NP Band days...

First guy I met was obviously Fatt.. my section mate. He was the boss of the Horns.. we had no Papa. I was the Mom, Peee the Rat and Leen the Nanny. We were later joined by our new SL ShuQin and our baby Brian. Hahaha. Shucks I miss my section and my "ah-lao" (my instrument la) so badly!!

Haha. So the guy is like one kinda black man... AND I THOUGHT HE WAS IN YEAR3 when i first joined the band! TOTALLY didnt know that he was same age as me lar. Haaa. Must be the pro-ness and the black face. He's a fantastic horn player. Also another source of motivation. One thing abt NPCB horns, we are one kinda synchronized! Esp my batch, when Fatt, Peee, Nick and I used to play the horn choir pieces like Canon and so on, we were very very syncronized la. Even with Leen and the juniors when we played the horn choir part for Harry Potter (yes the most scary piece ever.. the arranger had nth better to do, really), the whole section was always together. We were known for our ability to harmonize and go in tune. Esp me and Peee - we were always able to sync our pitching together.. haha. I miss all the music.. like mad.. But i bet i kinda lost it alr lar.

Well back to Fatt, he was like one of the most vulgar pple ever, all the hokkien and everything, but he's just like tt. totally not a bad guy or whatsoever. just vulgar. HAHAHAHA... hor fisherman?? =D So he was also the best player in the section (durh tt's why he was the boss what) and all... Since we all entered Main comm together, he was quite a responsible librarian. He LOVED choosing pieces to play. I mean, he really had quite a wide range of repertoires in his head okay.. he knew like nearly every other piece that we mentioned. Haaaa. crazy right? cos he's a band freak too. =P

Okay. We move on to Mr. President.. Merrill: He's damn potato-ish. JUST LIKE ME. When I went into the band, everyone hated me, everyone hated him. This guy is such a good trumpeter u see. Used to be the drum major of St. Pat's band. So when he came, he said some really stupid things abt the conductor (okay true comments but kinda suicidal) la. So everyone was like "who's this yaya-papaya year-1" and everyone thus did not talk to him. So a lot of pple didnt like me as well cos they thought i was yaya-papaya too cos I was from mass comm. the seniors had something against mass comm students.. i think? HAhaha. And of course pple like Mr Andrew Yap totally hated me too lar (but he loves me to bits now...). Andrew was damn bitchy, he bitched abt me like mad HAHA. So did I lar. but that was the past. okok, back to Merrill..

He started talking to me, and I thought he was nice lar. He didnt know one bit of chinese, neither did I haha (what I am now is very much thanks to Peee and YY). So we clicked very well.. I never did dislike the guy anyway... He was a damn great leader, he knew what he wanted, and of course he knew when he had to make decisions, and he trusted his vice & secretary to run things when he wasnt around either. Very Very Responsible, and I dare say that being under his leadership was an honour. Co-leading with him and the vice (Binster) was really really my pleasure. The band under his lead really really picked up.. we were sorta stuck in the dire straits because of a few irresponsible pple who left us to clean up the mess.. haha.

Now on to Wen Bin (known to me as Binster).. He was the Vice Pres of Main Comm, Chairman for Rondeau Comm..
He was the closest to me after we became the Rondeau Comm.. As we went thru the crap from school, from settling stuff for Rondeau, worked our butts off and really shared a lot of great memories. He was almost like a brother to me! Haha. Really listened a lot to each other. Had to, cos I was the secretary.. haha. So we had to work super closely with each other. No choice but to share the probs right, so we could get thru the Rondeau preparations well.. And actually I really realllllllllllllllly miss this guy.. (Please hor.. he's only my bro)...

And Sam, HE REALLLLLLY LET ME COMPLAIN... all the bu man and all the tao yan and all the mai yuan, all come out alr.. and Sam, I really feel a lot better! haha. Thank you bro.. I'm glad to have 4 of you as my buddies, and I'm glad to be the buddy of the 4 of you.. really. It was a fantastic time I had...

BTW ALL 4 of you... CALL ME LIM BABA SOME MORE LA. HAHAHA. 3 OUT OF 4 KENA PES BP RIGHT! HAHAHAHAHA. STILL CALL ME FAT AND BAH... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'M STILL LAUGHING!!! hahaha... =x

Aiya. I've to go for camp alr. Update again abt the rest soon....

2007-01-03T10:44:00.000+08:00

Jkwan, this is for you ar! haha.

let me mention again. Last week's movie with JKwan was great. the movie plus the company.. hhaha (there you go!)

anyway, Happy New Year everyone!! It's been great knowing all you people, good friends of mine whether from FCBC, PL, NP Band, NP MCM, TPJC Band, SAJC Band, Work Place, wherever...

God Bless all of you!

Haa. ok let me continue with my post. New Year's Eve was spent at Expo, FCBC Youthnet Countdown Party - Retro themed. Whoa. I will post pics later on.. retro retro man! But it was all in the name of fun and EVERYONE was dressed fantastically! Haaaa I loved it! Fantastic time partying and hearing the plans for 2007. Spending time with the spiritual family.. AND SEEING JANELLE MAK AGAIN...

omg.. WELCOME BACK JANELLE MAK!!! I LOVE YOU! hahahha. Not to mention, thanks for forcing yourself into that hp accessories shop to get that HYUN BIN (was it?) keychain for me! wahahaha. I LOVE YOU!

Next on New Year's Day I spent the whole day with my family. In the evening, we were driving to my dad's friend's place - and we saw the biggest and clearest rainbow ever!!! I HAVE A PIC! omg. SUPER NICE. Makes me wanna sing, "Red and yellow and pink and green, Purple and orange and blueeee.. I can sing a RAINBOW, sing a RAINBOW, sing a RAINBOW too.."

I love that little tune. So pleasant, tho it's just about rainbow colours. pretty pretty!!

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Second Day of New year was quite funny:

Spent the day with JKwan again and of course Peixian.

Was quite crappy how we alllllll ended up late !! so just wwent for some sushi. After that we were supposed to head straight to Taka to take a look at watches - but HAaaa. All thanks to Jkwan and yours truly, we detoured to some other shops la. wanna shop wanna shop. HAA. We just couldn't stop!

If not for the fact that we had to reach mediacorp before 7 for the recording, I think we might have stuck in town for a rather long time. Heh.

Oh and we met Leon from last season's PSS too, and his voluptious girlfriend! Heh.

Well after that we headed straight to watch the recording, and I really have to say that this biasness thing is getting more and more apparent. Even as a viewer it is rather obvious..

Anyway maybe I'm not professional or what la. But i felt that Averil deserved a better grade than what she got, really.

Last night the guys' show was more entertaining actually. Wen Hai really rocked the place down man. I REALLLY enjoyed his performance. Haaa. I enjoyed Nat's performance too. Very cute very entertaining! haaaa

Supper at the prata house was okay la... eh Jeremy you're right, the prata is overrated man.. If Casuarina wasn't closed (sorry man. made u all go all the way there then closed, i felt darned guilty n rotten about it.. then you know la the call.. ok nvm just know i really felt quite rotten and paiseh ar.) i think you may like the prata at Casuarina.. haha.

Anyway, sorry for the bad mood both girls were in yesterday. think you didn't have a good time cos of that. Sorry ar. maybe i'll tell you about it later on la.. see i'm not being secretive at all hor. cheers!
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The long weekend was quite shiok haa. At least my mind was off work for awhile.

But now I really am feeling a bit rotten... if my blog had the "Mood" Scale like Peixian's,
my mood would prolly be at 35% now.

2006-12-29T10:24:00.000+08:00

Yayy for Nat! He did well last night didn't he? Haaa. good good. Ganbatte ar, Nat if you see this. =D

Anyway the past few days been quite screwy and strange. I'm in such a weird mood. or maybe NO mood. heh. I'm quite tired out, been out like every night tues, wed, thurs. Esp on tues and wed. fancy reaching home well past midnight! But what to do, I'm supporting a friend ar..

How was your Christmas?

Mine was quite urm. at home.... I didn't quite have the Christmas spirit this year. Hardly sent anyone Christmas wishes, hardly bought gifts for people.. And i haven't sent out a single christmas card. SORRY PEOPLE. I really didn't have the energy this year. So depressing right? I couldnt go out to meet friends on Christmas Day either. I mean, dinner at home was good la. =)

Basically, this year the mood wasn't there. HAaaa.

After Christmas, I had some pretty exciting days - SUPER busy at work. I lost out on a lot of time last week because of some stuff and working at the outlet la.

But no matter how tired, it was really refreshing being in mediacorp and watching the proj superstar performances la.

ok. proj superstar aside.

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I finally watched "The Holiday"!!!!

Great show! But it was 2 half hours long man. and no choice i got a front row seat. i predicted a stiff neck at the next morning. Heng my prediction didnt come true lo. Haaaa.

Peee: think your predictions are still the most accurate de. HAHA.

Anyway i also enjoyed the company to the movies. Didnt you? heh. of course. i kept laughing and laughing like an idiot even though sometimes things werent funny man. right? hahaha.

But the show was great. Jude Law, he's so gorgeous. His two little girls in the show, equally adorable. Though till now i still don't exactly have a fantastic impression of fatty Jack Black, he's quite a good musician I must say. and he wasnt so unpleasant in the show la. But i felt like kate winslet deserved better. Hahahaha. In such a romantic comedy, feels like Jack Black did an injustice to the show. No not his acting or his music or what. Just simply his presence.

I totally got 100% disgusted with him after watching Tenacious D okay. aiya. hahaha.

Romantic Romantic Romantic!! Just tt it was a little bit hard to believe people can fall in love just meeting for 2 weeks. or even less than that. Gees.

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It's FRIDAY, 29th DECEMBER 2006!!!!! LONG WEEKEND AHEAD! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!

more photos:

I think i'm damn zi lian. paiseh.

Hospi Duty!!!!!!

2006-12-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

I didn't know that we can upload pictures so easily can. I thought must have that hello picasa thingie.. heh. but yay! I can upload pics now!

THAT (the above) was taken in the office, the situation was like this: (quite super exaggerated laa) I walk into the main office.... Some colleagues go, "SO CUTE!!! 你今天很美！！！LIKE SINGER LEI....TAKE PHOTOOOOO" I can't remember whether I'm exaggerating la. But this is what I remember. hahaha. therefore, i took photo la. cant say no right, only can try to say "ahhhh paiseh lei!! I take off the cap kk dont need to take photo laa... heh" Obviously that kind of stupid protest didnt work. But at least I've a peekture to post! heh.

Anyway, IT'S DECEMBER!! I love December... in December we get nice whether, in December we celebrate Christmas. With December we look forward to the New Year. It's refreshing, and kinda exciting isn't it? I realised I haven't been enjoying life as I should. Whether I'm at work, or dealing with ministry, or out with my friends, or out MAKING friends, I should enjoy and be happy. Someone told me, that I can always CHOOSE to enjoy what I'm doing. I'll try hard then, heh. Ganbatte! So with everything that's been happening for a month, let me do a quick update:

VAL LIME IS BACK AND WE ALREADY WENT OUT FOR KBOXING AND PLAY DINNER AT SAKAE... YAYYY!!!
I went to KL for a short weekend vacation - though not very much of a vacation. SOLE purpose: SHOP.
MOL - fantastic, know that God did a good work in everyone. heh.
I went to watch DEATH NOTE 2: The Last Name last night @ Great World City! heh. it's not released yet oo. I went with Peixian, and Kwan and Chan and Kern Bai. Yes, I enjoyed myself.. but I didnt take many pictures with them. I'd look like some crazy fan. No we're friends now so I wont be a crazy fan. hahahaha. I take a peekture with them next time if I get to meet them again..

Anyway Death Note 2 was a good show. But I didn't catch some parts cos I was tired, and on my right was Kwan, Chan and Nat. (I know i'm gonna sound star struck here. I'm not la ok) I've always wanted to see Chan face-to-face lei. Actually all 3 of them la. Interesting what. maybe i was a bit star struck la fine. I'm not a celebrity what.... cheh. Oh ya back to the concentration part. haha. It didnt help that the guy on my left was crunching on popcorn as loudly as 380 people pung-ing pwee okay (wah lao very disgusting description.. nono. it's more like crisp sounds. Not crisp farting la but you know what i mean la k).. my goodness it's twice as loud as my colleague's! This popcorn eater is one kinda skilful man.

Heh. Anyhow, I also enjoyed myself with the group of them.. trip to Heeren, sharing Kwan's pretty flowery umbrella with Peixian, uhmmm hahaha. running to taxi stand, waiting for the taxi, to dinner at Great World, waiting for Chan to come, it was all good fun. For me I guess. I hope they had fun too, cos if anything were to be awkward it'd be cos of me isn't it? Since the three guys hadn't seen me before either. But I've long heard about them wanting to watch Death Note 2 lar. so the group of us went together lo...

Aiya. I actually had many things to blog about, but I cannot remember.. I think I'm experiencing what working people call STM.. sigh. And Sarah Yu thinks only teachers have it. Mandy's experiencing it too... jia lat.

I'd like to end off by saying, I've to work at the outlets till 10pm on 21, 22, 23 Dec. Call me if ya wanna visit! All town area de! heh. Love ya friends!

oh sorry, I'd end off here:

MERRY CHRISTMAS SWEETHEARTS!

more pics below:

Super irritatingly act cute. But I like. =D
Val, Mandy, Skye

WILL POST MORE PHOTOS NEXT TIME... I'M SUPER SLEEPY NOW =)

2006-11-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

How come I have to give up?

Why did it take me such a long time to realise what a changed person you are? I hate the idea of giving up on you. I really do.

Your friendship had always had a place in my heart. It meant the world to me. For years. Even till now. Your friendship still means the world to me. YOU mean the world to me.

It's been 7 years. 7 long years. What happened to you? Why are you drawing yourself away from the world you belong to? What are you hiding from, and what is that factor drawing you away??

Please come back... I miss you, and I love you, for who you ever were and who you really are. Still to me, all this is your facade. A part of you that you found over the past couple of years, a false you that gave you false confidence.

You never needed that fame and popularity. You were always loved by whoever and wherever. That's the real you, the you I grew up with, the you that I'd loved with all my heart.. I shared everything I had with you, and you with me. We always understood each other best. The bond between us never broken, and never had to be mentioned. It feels... different now.

It's heartbreaking to know what has become of you. On the outside you're doing great. Inside, I really don't know what kinda emotinal turmoil you're going through. I'm glad to know you're doing well, I'm glad to see you happy. And yes, myself hiding at a side, stealing a look from the corner of my eye just to check your well being... just to remind myself that I haven't forgotten about you... and that I wish to be there for you and with you.

But the look in your eyes, the tone in your speech, the words that you use, only tell me how much of the opposite you are.. you have long forgotten about me, and the rest of those you truly loved.......

Please, for once in such a long time, let me know you are aware that I'm still alive....

2006-11-16T09:43:00.000+08:00

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IN THE MORNINGS?! WHY MUST THEY CALL AT 9.30AM AR?? CANNOT GIVE PEOPLE TIME TO SETTLE DOWN AT OFFICE FIRST IS IT!

Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, I ABSOLUTELY HATE CALLS IN THE MORNING. It's damn frustrating because I'm trying to keep myself awake, then I have to entertain stupid and stubborn questions..... leave me alone lar...

it's irritating.... and I'm not getting stupid questions only on the phone..... argh!!! isn't it straightforward enough??!!!!!

can I just cry....... sometimes I really hate working........

long long long

2006-10-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

I've to first say sorry to Sarah Jane Teo...

Sorry ar.. today the office was a little bit messy and boring. I was dealing with a lot of cases over the phone, e-mail and msn with business partners, little boys and overbearing others.... whatever!

in any case, the month's been pretty... in-exciting. In a sense, working life has become boring for me (I know my attention span's real short). See, funny thing is that work itself isnt THAT boring, but going to sleep every night remembering that I have to wake up early the next morning to go to work, now THAT'S boring. See the difference?

Why, you ask me, is the waking up boring - since work place is only at Serangoon North and I live only at Sengkang. Yes, very near. BUT I AM JUST NOT A MORNING PERSON LAR. LIVE WITH IT.

I'm trying to be as happy as a lark (and as I can) in the morning, TRYING VERY HARD okay. It just doesn't quite work la. Ask YY... I bug her in the morning then disappear. Of course, I'm usually just reading e-mails. Ya but I'm reading e-mails cos I can't really type much in the morning cos I'm so grumpy, and I'm rejecting sponsorships and scolding senseless kids via e-mail.. uh... cos I'm grumpy. At other times of the day, I complain at my side but I'd let you off. But before 11.30am (cos it's half an hour to lunch), if you like do something nasty, I'd totally corner you to the wall la... (my business partner said that haha)

Sorry, it's not my working style, it's just me. But it's not so bad actually.. I just smile and don't talk lar. Sometimes it's cos I ate something weird in the morning and I've bad breath, so I wont like talk to you at near distances. HAHAHA. Wait for someone to offer a sweet or like I find some interesting packet tea lying somewhere. I take and I drink and temporarily, my breath turns okay (DON'T WORRY. THIS ONLY HAPPENS AT WORK. NOT ON SUNDAY MORNINGS, AFTERNOONS, OR WEEKDAY AFTERNOONS ONWARDS).

Ya.

This Saturday I'll be going for Rondeau with the rest. I really miss Shin, Nick, Sarah, Hannie kor, Bek, Binster and the rest. EVEN SHANNY. yes I miss Shanny (Shin's younger sis whom I used to tutor but I prolly failed to do so well).

I pray that it's gonna be a blast. I'm gonna see my section play!!! Peee Leen and Fatt - my fellow hornie mates. Miss them like crazy. Brian n Shu Qin - fi ti!

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I received more ROCCANDY from Ms Ngo - THANK YOU WOMAN!!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YA FOR PEPPER LUNCH!!!!

I've been having a lot a lot more heart-to-heart talks with YY AND VAL. Even Skye n Sam too... less of Sam cos she's busy with school and Daryl (HAHA!).

VAL come back! I'm anticipating your arrival and our kbox session like an eager child. No, wait I still need to practise the chinese songs.........

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Ladies and Gentleman, It is 90% CONFIRMED! I'M GOING TO TAIWAN NEXT APRIL! HOORAH!!
prolly fly there myself though, and meet a friend there or what.

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Congratulations, I've been taught a lot a lot a lot by God these few months. made many mistakes, but learnt a lot as well. HAHA. So excited for ministry though. I really love whoever God placed in my life, especially the spiritual family. I have learnt to love the PL ministry and grow with them.

Most imptly, I have learnt to love S8 and everyone under S8. We always have such great fun together. We're just eating and laughing all the time. THAT in itself, is true bonding to us. HAHA. nutcases.

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So I await the many things that will happen in the months to come. And oh, finally, this is very scary - I'll be spending my 21st at G12 conference. God, only you know what my cell group will do... this is the worst.... no one can escape being 100% maluated on their 21st by Sarah Yu's tribe.. of course you have to be in Sarah Yu's tribe too.

but omg. the foregn delegates, other G12 churches from around Singapore, and omg, the adults side.... plus youth... omg..... Jesus please give me strength.....

Speaking of birthdays, so how am I gonna celebrate it? hahahaha. It's still too early to think, though. we still have ms YY's 21st to come first. HAHAHA OLD WOMAN XD

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new skin

2006-10-09T14:50:00.000+08:00

I like my new skin!
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I miss all the crazy people who are overseas.

PLEASE COME BACK!!!!

Janelle please bring back Hyun Bin... and Guosheng please bring Rain back... and Boonhwee can bring the entire Goong cast back..

VAL LIM! Please come back and kbox!! I'm learning songs! Omg so excited.... I wish I can go to Aussie to see you though. It'll be how fun!

Cherie i want pepperlunch!!!!!! helloooo?!

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So anyway things have been going pretty okay for me. A few bumps on the road here and there but they get forgotten pretty quickly.

Of course I have to thank the people I'd been speaking to - whether in church, or Val or YY... and others la (=

speaking of Val, I never ever had such a long heart-to-heart talk with her before. (right val?) Haha. But it was a good one la. At least now we both know a lot more abt the happenings in each other's lives. It also set me thinking like what if I had chosen another path...etc

wow Val you made me think!

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BGR - still does not exist in my life, not yet. Don't bug me about it.

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Life on the whole - very very mundane. It's one of the periods in life where you have ZERO idea on what you're doing at all. Sad right?

My music journey has sorta ended. I have no time to continue it. I'd love learning for worship, but I wonder if that's the area God has called me into.

Well. My life's all about work and ministry and family now. Of course shopping and korean dramas too.

Oh and I'm planning various holidays, as if I'd already saved all the money I needed and am ready to go anytime (of course that's completely false!). But hey! No harm planning what, it's not like I wont get to go at all (or will I?).

Nah. I'll get to go.

Hey people.. outings more often okay! take me out, treat me to a nice meal or something. I'll gladly go!! =D

2006-09-07T23:42:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i last posted hor? hahaha.

my blog's about to be fossilised!

Anyway there really isnt anything to update about. My life's really all about work now. Ministry's about to take up the other half of it, which I should be really excited about.

I am excited, just not WOW at this point in time. I think I'm just sorta burning out. Quite fast right? I'm only into my 4th month of working. No i'm not bored of work OR ministry. I'm just tired and losing a lot of energy. I have no time to recuperate. No time to gain this energy back.

All the extra time i have left is spent meeting up with people i havent met for YEARS. and i really mean years. like my secondary school friends whom i havent seen since I graduated from PL~ omg! i'm serious, we've been trying to plan a date forever..

Anyway,

Today i was geared up for war, and a firey session at my meeting. But it was quite funny. My manager and I spent so much time looking our best and all. and all we spent was a mere 10-15 mins there at the meeting (i wont mention where and with whom). yea. I didnt even meet the person who caused the bad blood (thank God) but well. It didn't end on a sour note - i guess we achieved our goal - and it was a rather interesting time of observation. hahaha.

On a side note, i realised tt people who work in clubs, don have good complexions. No i'm serious. Pretty as their features may be, because of the excessive (thanks, gs) drinking and smoking, I decided to come to a conclusion - working in a club is just plain bad for your skin.

Heh. Anyway, finally got my ipod video (for those who forgot, my nano is lost). I spent some time watching an anime on the bus today. It's the third time I'm watching it but i was laughing like an idiot on the bus. there was a super good looking boy sitting in front of me so i didnt dare laugh out loud, but i bet he could hear the snorts and the sounds of the pouts of air flying out of my nose and my mouth (i just hope the pi sai didnt come out as well.. i think not la. I would be able to feel it right).

I like the ipod video. Fantastic sound. It's better than the nano!!!! HAHAHAHA.

okayyy... gota go.. oh oh i learnt this from a new friend:

peace;)

2006-07-20T17:50:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you of the first time I taste His true sweetness. God's true sweetness.

It's amazing. It's something I've learnt to identify especially in the area of work. Relationships. And so many more. Declaration and claiming is so important. To be happy and live with a grateful and simple heart is even more important. Meaning, just love Jesus.

No it's not easy to do. in the recent months, my family has been thru ups and downs. until now, but every time i pray i see a result. It's amazing. It's NOT easy to go thru or to handle it. Especially when I'd just started working. Thank God i've a great spiritual brother whom I can chat with everyday abt my life. and my family. and everything. whilst i get mad with my sister sometimes, of course i still love her loads. in fact, i really thank God for her. sometimes when my parents get over sensitive and think that i'm trying to strike out on my own and accuse me of not needing them anymore and treat me like shit (when they get insensitive).. my sister allows me to feel accepted.. thanks darling.

but i thank God for my parents too. i love them loads. we all have to learn together. they, hate admitting they're wrong. they start to say i'm in denial, bluffing myself and them just to get out of a situation. well sometimes and in some point of time thru my years, i prolly did it. But many a times when i'm TRULY innocent, they refuse to admit they misinterpreted my actions....etc. wont go into details.. and they're growing older. and i'm growing up. i'm working now, and am financially independent. SO a lot of strings have to be let looser. They dunno how to do the restraint and letting go thing well all of a sudden. because again, it's a new phase in OUR lives. first time their daughter is financially independent and grown up, first time i'm experiencing something like that in life - working la.

not that it's any big deal.. okay it is la. the change in lifestyle and all. like this bro said, they dunno how to handle. it's new. and i acknowledge them. as much as i hate blaming them tho, it's very tiring to have to play according to what they want, and yet still accomplish what i myself wanna do. But well. it all boils down to their love for me. So maybe, pastor should ask them to go for encounter or counselling sessions again. heh. i love them still la. no matter what... no one in this world can take the place of my family. no i didnt say no one in the world and heaven.

It's amazing to learn the art of praising, the art of letting go of myself, the art of putting God first in my life. and in everything, give thanks. something i'd forced myself to learn, and finally understand. It's amazing too, the Jabez prayer. hahaha. really. God blesses with abundance. I feel so blessed. esp at work. things are going well. i'm learning more. getting the hang of things. And suddenly deals i didnt have to ask for, start appearing out of no where and definitely of no loss to me or my company. isnt that fantastic? in real life i guess it makes me seem good. but i know and you know now, that it's really God at work, His favour being upon me, isnt it? Amazing. I'm really really... in awe. for the first time.. I say it and i really mean it. with all the gratitude in my heart. Thank you God.

Lastly. I thank God for the spiritual family i have. relationship with them is just growing stronger. It's amazing.. because i've been yearning for that to happen in years. and it has la. God's doing something and showing me that i didnt choose wrongly... they're my source of comfort when i'm in trouble. thank God.. and to Gerri, i pray that everything goes well.. i know how you're feeling, i've been thru it too when it happened with my family. =) S8 is here to be your physical pillar of support other than your family. love ya..

2006-07-08T09:59:00.000+08:00

Miracle weekend's been over for more than a week. nearly two weeks already. and i've come to realise how important it is to treat every week like miracle weekend.

went for the 1728 meeting on tuesday.. although i was absolutely tired and was kinda distracted by a loud whisperer (haha) behind me, i managed to catch some of pastor Khong's words. It was true, what he said. The desperation to call, the desperation to look for friends, the desperation that came together with compassion.. all drove the figure of saved friends up. It was that. and as long as we were aiming for 12, it didnt matter if we brought 1 or 2? If we didnt even aim for 12, there wouldn't even be 1 or 2!

We do have to rise up in faith isnt it? It's tiring, but it's for a good cause. Loving Jesus is really wonderful though. He's blessed me in many ways and He's been my pillar of strength. all these make me ashamed of myself of course, for being unfaithful... and speaking of faithfulness.. pastor mentioned the difference between a moment of excitement and true faithfulness. THAT i need to find out more about.

on a separate note, work's been going on fine, folks. God's blessed me with work to do wahahaha. it's good work and i'm enjoying it. I'm at least financially independent now, and growing up... a lot quicker than others, but it's all in His good hands. He's controlling, so i've learnt not to worry so much anymore. Letting Him control my life is so much easier than controlling it on my own. i've no confidence in myself, but i've learnt to put my confidence in Him.. DOnt worry la. He created everything you see around you, surely He can run your life better than you do? no? hahaha.

i'm quite sleepy now, the perks of the morning mcdonalds breakfast sorta kept me alive for 20 mins and then it blew out. i'm growing sleepier and sleepier and as i'm typing on the computer now the screen's growing dimmer and blurrer............

one month once

2006-06-22T10:18:00.000+08:00

So it remained un-blogged for about slightly longer than a month. my bad, because in the month of may i was really quite lazy. And once June came around, I started work and this month has just gone past like a strong gust of wind, leaving me feeling weak in the knees and in the mind yet dizzy with excitement.

yes, work's been fun and i've been learning a lot. but it's tiring to wake up everyday tooo!!

and yes, THE MIRACLE CATCH IS ON SUNDAY!!! oh wow. it's gonna be so amazing, how i could just feel God's presence so strongly last night. and I thank Him for it. Thank You God. =)

TIME has passed. I'll be putting up my graduation photos in no time, so please bear with it for awhile, all you who are waiting! heh. It was an amazing time, catching up with lecturers and friends. Strangely, all animosity between us and any of our lecturers had been dispelled the moment we all set our eyes on each other. Ah, the power of graduation.

very soon, one of the shorter of the short group of lims and one ah soh, will be leaving us to Australia where she'll embark on another learning journey (WITHOUT US). it's quite cruel, but i hope this 1 half to 2 years will fly by quickly.

SO we will prolly be holding another one of our TRI-ANNUAL K-BOX AH LIAN sessions for the ah lians (of course i'm not one) but i believe that this will be one VALERIE LIM will remember. =) and of course for us to remember her by. no one else will be on the videos except her.

and Val, stayover before you leave alright?

btw everyone, woe is me, for my iPod nano is lost. yes, not by me but the beloved blood sister of mine. how it mysteriously disappeared, i cannot fathom. but woe is me.

2006-05-17T15:38:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA.

so now we have this event called the tri-annual Kbox-ing for LADIES WHO KNOW WHO YOU ARE. hahaha. i think it's something we do more often than tri-annually la right? the tri-annual part is just uh. a number or something. or maybe we used to do it tri-annually when we had LESS time while we were still students.

nevertheless, the post i put up a day or two ago shows val lim and skye dancing to a super ah lian sammi cheng song. unfortunately, val's vigorous dancing part was lost because i FORGOT to press RECORD. so cleverr! in any case, there's still sky dancing and val screaming like an idiotic monkey. this video was taken on the uh... second or third kbox session.

for more videos and photos, please visit supermonkeyval's blog. *disclaimer: those pictures that val put up did not include me. NO not even the one she was laughing at. THAT WASN'T ME.

2006-05-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

2006-05-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

Thank God for beautiful people,

but some are just gross.

-ooh, celebrations!-

and here's where i roll my eyes.

2006-04-19T02:54:00.000+08:00

hi, i'm back to blog.

-yes jason i hear you complaining-

ahh. today's topic is rather interesting. just read some campus "news article" off some website of some certain school.. and i can only sigh a sigh of relief.

looks like in the first place they really never were professional enough to criticise us, were they? simple things that got us Ds and Cs during print journ, didnt seem to bother them or even lead them to question their own professionalism. it really is quite sad uh.

and most importantly, the article was describing my favourite singer. how can an article describing or rather writing about my favourite singer be so.. so.. i mean, there's a lack of details and all! in school, if i write an article like that, i'd be made to rewrite this by the editors/lecturers like 5 times. no kidding and we even get Ds or fails. no.. we wouldnt even publish an article written like that. how could you, a school boasting of your professional contacts, lecturers and superiority every manner, publish an article of such standard? tsktsk. unbecoming...

i mean, basic things like which year the students are from, they dont include. and what's more, they don't phrase their sentence properly. gees. doesn't it have to go, "18 year-old XXX, a 2nd year (course YYY) student....."

????????

Age of reported celebrity not stated, age of reported students not stated, in fact the status of some names mentioned in the article were not even stated. it's like telling the world that anyone can be part of the club or whatsoever.

so, are you all still questioning our level of professionalism? continue coming over to make big fools of yourselves. the only ones looking silly would be you and your fellow course mates, i've to warn. last year you've already "made a name" for yourselves and your school. this year the event will be held again. Our school warmly welcomes people who try to make us look bad but end up only making themselves (and their entire school) look bad, in fact boosting our reputation. =)

2006-03-24T02:13:00.000+08:00

wow, i've changed blogskin. hahaha. FINALLY.

no more print journ, no more mass comm. I'll miss those people. haha. honestly, i will!

prolly all the weird stuff we do when we hang out together, and like cheering ever-so-loudly knowing we'd lose the dragonboat race and all hahaha but it was all in the name of fun! at LEAST there was a mass comm team ah~ haha.

alright, cell retreat planning coming up. all the aloha spots we want are TAKEN. -i hear collective gasps-

a moment of silence as i announce that our now tentative sleeping place is DANIEL HALL -LOUD, collective gasps-

and i foresee loads of objection. but aiya. dont blame me. haha. u all took a long time to get back to me also what =/

2006-03-10T23:36:00.000+08:00

i just found out, i never really knew how to appreciate God's love and favour on me.it was all just words and feelings, like what sarah said during cell today.. and i feel so overwhelmed.. to love God isnt a feeling, but it goes deeper than that?

what exactly is it to love God?i never really knew. I could confidently tell people that i love God and He's the only one i'll ever worship. i really wouldnt. but aside from all that, did i really love God? did i love people for God's sake? did i love Him for the sake of people and their affectionS? if i love God, is He the centre of my life? is He the NUMBER ONE in everything i THINK and DO? i'm reallly really thinking now. i feel so.. ashamed of myself.

i really dont know how to appreciate what God has given to me. I know it's always God.. yet i still have to convince myself sometimes, and discipline myself to thank God FIRST everytime something good happens. and i've to convince myself that everytime something bad happens, i've to thank God too because i know that He has His reason. but am i just thanking God because it's the CORRECT thing to do? i dunno.i'm so confused. i never really shared with anyone. and i never really bothered to reflect that upon myself. but just the thought and the words that come to me when i hear that i'm not loving God because it's just words and feelings.. i feel so.. ......

how to love God? as in, how and what can i do to love God?i thought that lately i've been drawing closer to God because i talk to Him very frequently and i've overcome really by faith sins and habits that were difficult to kick off. but i did it.am i drawing closer to God?and for the first time.. i feel so shallow. why do i feel so shallow suddenly?

2006-02-23T02:30:00.000+08:00

saw those happy vday wishes on my tagboard?

thanks to those who wished me..

but then again.

what's the big hooha about valentine's day? heard from my sis, vday is abt secret admiration, secret love. not mushy squishy toys and flowers and well expressive mutual love to be flaunted and littered all over the street.

on valentine's day, the street is filled with litter. what litter? those.. uhm.. well. invisible kisses and hugs and all.

then we ask, is Valentine's day the only day that permits public displays of affection? amongst the adults i dont really care cos well they know what they're doing. but for goodness' sake. kids of 13, 14 and 15 years-old?

oh gawdd. what is the meaning of valentines day? it is but a day of exploitation for florists and chains like hallmark and happy house. on a normal day a normal stalk of rose costs 1 buck. on vday a withered stalk of rose costs TEN BUCKS. WHERE'S THE JUSTICE?!

2006-02-12T01:49:00.000+08:00

he's a good guy, yet no one appreciates him. at least not her.

sad right?

cheer up =) in every dark cloud there's a silver lining. (=

2006-01-31T01:33:00.000+08:00

It's the year of the dog!

Happy Lunar New Year, everyone! (=

SO much so reflect about since last new year. hahaha. but well. i think it's time to grow up la. here i am, turning 20 soon with a blink of an eye. all grown up, it's good to look back and see what made me successful or not.

well so here's what happened so far:

Chu Yi:

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE CHU YI!! it's like, the cousins' day! and see my family, aunty nancy & uncle steven's family, and aunt jean's family allll went for service together in the morning at expo, then went for lunch cos ALLLLLL the jiejies and i and nessa were like hungry (turns out the parents were famished too), then went back to aunty nancy and uncle steven's house to great ah fo and wait for the rest of the family to turn up. meanwhile, cousins went into denise jiejie's room to play cards.. fun fun!

at night we went to watch movieeeee. hahaha. as usual, on every chu yi, Hainanese cousins Lim will catch a movie after dinner together. what makes this year so special, is that alllll the cousins went. i meant all who were old enough. oh. all except BENJAMIN. tsk. ya my nemesis, he said he didnt like the show we're watching (btw he's a robot) so he counted himself out. who knows. he went to pak toh with another robot. HAHA. the show was great, and a large part of it being the fact that we cousins all went out together. and of course, at every birthday, we do have a Lim family cousins gathering too, for celebration.

love how close we are -hugg

hmmmm. CHU ER:

KYANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

2006-01-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

haha, what a super emo entry.

sorry i scared everyone. just going thru a really stressful period. but freedom comes soon! cant wait. (=

cant believe i actually allowed myself to wallow in self pity right? =P

2006-01-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

I know it's damn selfish to say this, but..

then you know, how people don't really care if you die or not, because they just dont really care.

you're there for them to milk you all they can and they'd prolly just dump you aside after you become useless. no one genuinely cares? like. everyone's got their own lives. why would they bother abt some lil brat who's just around? i mean, who cares after they've gotten what they wanted? do you mean anything to anyone other than God? you never really find out.

and you even get accused of wanting to manipulate when you honestly just want to help ease the load?

welcome to the real world, amanda lim.

2006-01-18T13:40:00.000+08:00

strangely, ah fo didnt seem very angry that her son could have such audicity to do such a thing.

too many things to deal with in too little time

2006-01-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

i dont seem to see blogspot as an avenue for me to express myself anymore

i dont seem to be able to find anything as an avenue to vent my frustrations.

no not with my family.

just everything else.

can i have a break?

can i just release a tear drop?

can i ? can i ?

my point

2006-01-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

a special hi to everyone who tagged and thanks for tagging and encouragements..

i only have one problem tho.. i'm not complaining abt paying for myself. believe me, i may sound weird, but i'm happy when i've saved money or earned money, to spend it on myself. really. or something for a good cause la.

i'm only complaining that for no particular reason, let's just re-enact the whole scene:

mom: so jie ah, tmr u wanna go with us to cut hair?

me: yeaa i want! (but i already had in mind that i'd pay for myself and i really ONLY SAID "yea i want")

mom: but no what treatments all that ah dont think i will pay for you all this kinda things whoa u think u wanna do only can do ah i don print money one okay wait gotta pay for myself pay for nessa pay for u, still wanna do treatments all that got spare a thought for me one not (and the nagging goes on)

get my point?

so yea.. that's it.

parents

2005-12-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

a late merry christmas to one and all.

and a happy new year.

this year ends with some weird stuffs.

before it ends i'd also like to leave some words.

why do parents have to wholeheartedly believe that you expect them to pay for all your wants, when all along, you've really been paying for yourself? and i dont mean months. it's been years and years. and when u just tell them that u wanna do this or get that, they start getting all defensive on how u expect them to pay for you, and that u can go and pay yourself blah blah.

have we said we wanted them to pay? i mean it's prolly been drilled in our heads since young that all our wants will be paid for by ourselves. well, at least that's the case for me.

i've been paying for my haircuts and treatments myself since i was in sec4.

it's so freaking annoying. and parents, they say they can read our minds and our expressions. what makes them so sure of that? just when they claim they know their kids best. i sometimes really doubt so. for your info, i really wasnt saying "i'll pay myself, i havent been asking you to pay for me all along" out of any anger or spite. it's the truth. when i say i wanna do something, it's been in my mind that i've to save up or work for it and pay for it myself prior to telling them.

it's so freaking irritating cos u can NEVER explain yourself once they start SNAPPING at you for no reason. and once everything is fine, it is all the more difficult to open your mouth to talk abt it, isnt it?

annoying.

i'm turning 20 soon. stop trying to read me like a child.

i'm not one anymore. and stop telling me to reflect and answer God when u've already determined the answer. i know what i was feeling then and i really do not appreciate all the crap abt u knowing me that well. question is, do you really?

2005-12-20T17:19:00.000+08:00

holidays arent holidays AT ALL.

I've like two major projs due this friday, and i'm rotting in school, feeling so tired and pissed with myself for not being able to do anything. please dont take it that i'm slacking, i really need some freaking time to myself too.

suddenly i'm so busy with ministry (not that i'm complaining) and i'm loving it . haha. it's reallllllly encouraging to feel part of the ministry for once. and i REALLY mean it, for once. i'm happy laaaa. serving people, serving God. it's like suddenly i'm so sick of the world, i just wanna sink into a world of ministry. tho i'm physically tired, but i get all hyped up once i think about it (other than the fact that i've to prac for choir) aiyaaaa. tired. really tired.. physically la.

hmmm. i've had literally no life for the past few weeks. i've not been going out (okay i went to celebrate gin's birthday but that's that) and i managed to squeeze a few hours after service on sunday to hang out with my cell. and i'm kinda glued to the computer screen. doing my work. i guess. and shuttling from sch to shin's house twice a week and home after that. really enjoy those sessions tho. really.

and oh! Christmas party with the cluster was a blast! it was like super super fun la! i love our pple la.

i love God for this.

love love*

3 secret people*

2005-12-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

my phone looks absolutely hideous now.

and for everyone who doesnt know and doesnt care, yet i've changed my phone, to a panasonic VS3.

i told myself i'm gonna take really good care of this baby.

just as someone was looking at it, we both let slip of the phone and it dropped.

yes, and until a few hours ago, i never noticed the chip at the end. and yes i think you all can feel my pain. I ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT AND THAT MY PHONE HAS BECOME WORTHLESS AND THAT IT'S ABSOLUTELY RUINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... do u feeel my pain................... i feel like cryinggggggggggggggggg

2005-12-07T13:10:00.000+08:00

hi.

i've been too busy, and possibly too tired.

apologies for the lack of entries for the past one week.

not easy on me at all.

btw. i'm half dead.

oops

2005-11-30T00:50:00.000+08:00

due to overwhelming sadness of officially leaving the band, and fatigue of course, i overlooked one thing in the last entry.

that's to thank every one who came to support. hey friends and family and spiritual family, i appreciate your coming to support! esp my dearest eve and mindy, sarah and geraldine, charlene, wina and jarelyn!! love ya darlingsss and thanks for the chocs and flowers! hehs..

to fel darling and bh and KO and KO's girlfriend, thanks for coming too! appreciate itt. esp felll cos i miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

and to hannie kor and gs! thanks for coming. really.. and hannie kor is the best!

to darling shinnie who helped chase buggers away from the circle area, you're like the most efficient usher ever!

to denise jie and joseph kor, thanks so much for the flowers.. they're so pretty! and thanks for coming to support me! you're my family, and i absolutely love you both!

haha lastly to corne, thanks for coming, kiddo! lol.

to sarah jane teo that lovely darling.. okay. not so lovely. more like manly. LOL just kidding laaaa. cute laa hamster laaa hor?? hahaha. anyways THANKS FOR DA FLOWER! pleasantly surprised. so sweet of u.. hehs -hugg-

oh and to zhong qing, thanks for coming too, it meant a lot a lot to your students you know! (((((=

over

2005-11-27T18:27:00.000+08:00

It's finally over..

Rondeau 20th. In celebration of our 20th Rondeau concert?

yuppp. and also a sad day for us third years, no? especially the Rondeau comm.. all of us whom are dedicated to this band, people who slogged harder than ever for the past two concerts.

I appreciate the chance to be working with my committee. Never had such a good time working on something so major with a group of people before. It's been an honour.

And, i think the concert was a success to me. ((= my section sounded great, i think. To all of whom don't agree, nevermind. hahaha. i still think my section sounded great. haha.

to my section: horniee people!!! you've done extremely well! i absolutely adore each and every one of u. i really do.. it's like the first time i had people of the same batch as me in my section. so to szeto, fatt, peee and leen.. i love u all!!! it's great to have people like you around me all the time..

and, the man who made it all happen, Mr. Tan. He's the best laaa. i kept laughing throughout the concert ! he kinda helped eased the anxiety.

i felt that it was just a practice session after all! haha.

Oh!!! BIG THANKS SO DARRYL AND VALERIE, my lovely and handsome emcees!!! thank you so much for helping!!

to soloists, jefferson & wenwei, your solos were damn zai ! and jeff, i especially loved loved your jap graf solo. not the pause note one. hahaha the second solo!

and Daryl Hor! your jap graf solo rocked the hall!!!!

HORNS!! we sounded fabulous in alleluia!

so after everything, my heart is feeling a great big ache. yuppp. hahaha. i dunno how to explain this heart ache. i set in quite tho. amidst all the excitement, i forgot all about leaving. but i guess, again, hehs. things will definitely smoothen out. right? haha. for you all to answer and for me to find out.

-i'm so tired, i havent e slightest idea what i've typed so far.

freaking retards

2005-11-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

well excuse me for being blunt.

i dont get why damned alumni band is so exclusive. sorry if you're offended, but i dont get why u insist on play time on OUR concert, insist on a combined alvarmar, REFUSE to come for a prac with us ( dont u dare say we should stay back for you), and refuse to come just slightly earlier for prac with us ON THE ACTUAL DAY.

HELLOOOOOOOO. CONCERT STARTS AT 6!! ASKING THE ALUMNI BAND TO COME AT 3.30 TO REHEARSE WITH US, IS IT TOO MUCH?! DAMN!

Anthony (and i dont mean to use profanities) but you're such a shithead, you freaking bugger. don't push your luck too far okay. compromise? your shit head, sucker. who do you freaking think you are? so after we said no alvarmar. you said u'd use alvarmar as ur stupid encore. who the hell cares abt you enough to shout for an encore for you? freaking shit head. it's OUR concert. the MAIN BAND concert. not the freakng ALUMNI concert.

so now you expect the full alumni band with the power players of the main band.

WHO THE SHIT DO U THINK YOU ARE?

and as if the main band would willingly play the piece with you? naive? or just plain stubborn? do you not already know of the band's reluctance to even come into contact with you? i wish not to speak for the whole of the alumni, but SORRY, ALUMNI BAND. YOU'VE CHOSEN THE WRONG PERSON TO HEAD U. please teach him how to be a person first.

my gawd. you're like a father la. grow up please?

and please. once again. this Rondeau 20, WAS NEVER MEANT FOR YOU. if it were me, not wenbin or merrill who spoke to you, I'd insist on NO all the way. and you bet i could argue my way thru my decision. If WB and Merrill hadnt been nice enough to give u some space. i think our concert would be doing just fine. it doesnt mean you're older that you get special incentives okay. i'm buying flowers and presents for you okay. APPRECIATE IT, FREELOADER.

................. totally pissed off.

crying

2005-11-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

have u tried crying everyday for 4 days, skip a day, and cry every day again for another 3-4 days?

i think i'm going thru that.

NOT NICE AT ALL.

when will i break free?

shucks

2005-11-21T01:03:00.000+08:00

peng peng hu

ping hu

dong nan xi bei

hong zhong, fa, bai ban.

i've been so stressed and tired with band and some stupid people, i've begun to seek solace in playing highly & dangerously addictive games. okay. only one - mahjong.

like omg. mungen me.

2005-11-18T01:40:00.000+08:00

had a good PR lesson today.

and just for your information, Rondeau is about 9-10 days away. prolly 8 now. only.

a few questions to ask again.

hey,

honestly, what first springs in your mind when mass comm is mentioned?

what do u mean when u give a shocked "oh! you're from mass comm?" question when i tell you i'm from mass comm?

what is your general perception of a mass comm student?

really, is it that bad?

2005-11-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

i'm sitting alone in the clubhouse, wondering what i should do, really.

should I:

1) go down to canteen to buy some food

2) go shit

3) continue doing the booklet?

I'm in such a dilemma.

2005-11-07T13:19:00.000+08:00

There are a few questions i've been dying to ask:

How to people cheat on their friends for such a long time without feeling any pangs of guilt?

Do they not realise that their friends already know they're hideous two-headed serpents?

Why do they not even apologise after so long? (this links back to the first question)

So, do you really expect a confrontation before you'd reflect on your deeds?

lovelove*

2005-11-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

why do parents always wanna barge into their childrens' lives and spoil everything?

okay. not barge. they have every right to i guess. but why do some parents want to take charge of even their kids' love lives?

i dont get it. it status really that impt? is money really more impt than love on its own? what is marriage or a relationship built on? just money alone? so what, as long as there's money, everyone lives happily ever after?

what is money when there's no love? why is it when the daughter finds a good guy, and just because his status doesnt match theirs, he's not worth loving huh? isnt he worth loving just as much as every other good guy?!

or at least, people around him and their daughter know that he's worth loving okay.

darn.

to you and you, whom i greatly care about. dont give up on yourselves, dont give up on each other okay? even when you know you're going thru great torment, take comfort in the fact that you're not going thru this alone. the other one is prolly going thru more pain than you. the other person prolly wants you to have a better life instead of having to go thru the torment, the other person is prolly willing to go thru the torment of losing u than to make u go thru such torment.

dont do that to each other when u love each other so much. unless u dont love each other anymore, i dont see a reason why u should leave each other.

i love you both*

2005-11-01T19:46:00.000+08:00

it's been a week plus since i've last posted an entry.

welcome back to school, you may say. the first week of school only has like 2 hours of class for me.

ah, nothing much has been happening lately. all i know is that i've got quite a number of things lined up for me to do, i'll just do them asap.

realise the heat's been like crazy la. oh i meant the weather. it's been damn terrible la. cannot take it.

and everyone's temper is urhh. getting bad too. hahaha. oh well -shrug-

Band Camp2

2005-10-23T19:32:00.000+08:00

i've never dreaded graduation so badly.

sorry people but this is again, about band.

I just came back from Rondeau Camp 2. Prolly the first to leave and to reach home. Unwillingly. stupidly too, cos i asked my parents to pick me up la. and i missed celebrating Cheng Yee's birthday, which was one of the most anticipated events la. but i knew my mom would be pissed, so i went off. if not she'd take it out on my dad. hmmm. think she already did. grumpy cos she's sleepy, so fierce to him la. haa. as usual. oh well. it's not quite fun being around them when they're tired.

and to Cheng, SORRY, and i know your birthday is TOMORROW, BUT HAPPPPPPPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -hugggggg-

I dread rondeau, Rondeau is in a month's time. A MONTH. HOW??? i'm not that stressed, i just hope i wont be too overwhelmed on that day and start crying la. i feel like crying now already. after breaking camp, my heart seems to be aching simply cos i miss those people. And after graduation, i wont be able to just pop by at the clubhouse everyday, seeing all my crazy band mates and 'siao-ing' together, and we wont be spending time together EVERYDAY like we used to. Any idea how sad that is?

I don't wanna leave. I so will miss the people in my batch la. So much. And Mr Merrill Chia and Mr Alwyn Tan! thanks so much for your guidance and being like bros to me, and taking care of me whether i'm physically or emotionally sick. It's been a pleasure being your secretary, and it's been a pleasure working with you all. And to the rest of the Rondeau comm as well, thanks thanks, especially those like Fatt and Sam who have been with us since the Main Comm 2004/2005 was formed. We all stuck thru thick and thin together, and i really really do appreciate that!

To my darling and extremely beloved section: LawFatt, Peee, Leen, Szeto, ShuQin, Brian. I AM SO GONNA MISS ALL OF YOU LA. sob. i will come back and visit, that's for sure. brian and shuqin, once we're gone, there are only two of you left, must 撑下去 okay?? We will be back la we promise.

To Lawfatt and Peee: We've been through so much since first year la! and we're still here. congrats. and i love you both. very much. -hugg-

to Szeto and Leen: damn happy to have you two join us from second year onwards la. damn damn happy. we're like crazy idiots right?? BUT WE ROCK LA. hahahaha

To the rest of the clique: we'll always be the clique. =D

to the rest of NPCB. Words cannot express how much i love this band la. you guys have this amazing thing that makes me feel happy to seek shelter at, from school work, from people in school and everything. You just make my day all the time (though some times you make me angry too, but ya) and i know it's a bit too early to be emo la. but i'm feeling like this everyday, and i just wanna spend as much time with all of you while i still can.

the entry sounds juvenile-ly emo la. but it hits my heart. rock bottom.

Rondeau. Anticipated? or Dreaded?

2005-10-20T16:32:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be damn emo.

Rondeau 20th is coming up. I'm supposed to be darned excited, cos my committee is organising it and stuffs?

i'm not..... in fact, i'm dreading Rondeau. It marks the end of my journey in band as a student. It's my last concert as a student, as an organising committee member, and it marks the breaking up of our committee.

it's damn sad la.. sure we can meet up again. but once all of us graduate, i'm not so sure if we'd all have a complete gathering again. what's more, all the guys will be going to become soccer-ball-heads, and the girls will all be working/studying. i'm gonna miss everyone!! -cry-

all the fun we had playing games, spending time together, laughing at Mr. Tan's old crappy and extremely lame jokes (eh but they're quite funny), crying and getting angry at an outsider who tries to sow discord between the members (you-know-who), standing together to welcome FuSing Junior High, performing as one, nua-ing together, and after getting scoldings after scoldings we all stand up again together.. disagreeing on pieces we all don't like and playing lawfatt's two favourite profanitized (dont think there's such a word but yaa) tunes that say something like "knnb***".

i'll miss everyone.. sob. I think this Rondeau is gonna be a damn emo one. for me at least.

*****oh and i found out that diahorrea is actually diarrhoea. HAHAHA.

diahorrea. =(

2005-10-18T10:15:00.000+08:00

wwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

my laptop is back! after one night of a lot of crap, and not knowing how to connect to the internet and everything else -i'm such an I.T idiot-

okay. the day i came back from bangkok, i was plagued with indigestion, gastric and diahorrea. today (a week later), i'm still not recovered. and it's disgusting, it really is. ah, the woes of having diahorrea!

guess what, after the reformat, i realise alllllll my emoticons are gone. my ultra cute emoticons are all gone! people, send them to me!! send them to meeeeeeeeeee!!

saturday was real fun, haha. i had band, then went to church, met some good friends, sat with Nise jiejie, then scooted off to town, to celebrate Leen's birthday. boy was it fun!

heh. Leen's birthday, i think, was a blast. we went to Hagen Daaz just for the fondue there, but alas, no fondue was served. we reserved the table for 9pm, and 14 people turned up la. anyway, there was no more fondue by 9pm! damn sad laaaaa.

nevermind, there'll be fondue again! wooooot.

we had after that some big birthday song or something. super cool, i think leen was damn happy, WEREN'T YOU, LEEN???? heh.

anyway, had band last night again. then i felt sick on my way home. woke up this morning feeling sick too, rushed to the toilet twice. twice okayyy. within half an hour.

gonna meet peee later in the afternoon, and then meeting up someone else for a movie. cool cool. corpse bride. cool cool cool.

tmr i've to work, thurs i've to work.

not so fun trip

2005-10-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

okay, i'm back from bangkok.

wasnt exactly the most pleasant trip, but yea, was okay. nothing much to talk about, since i came back with diahorrea on the last day and indigestion and gastric for the next two days and dunno how many days to come.

gees. and i didnt eat that much?

so, everything's like a whirl now. i've no idea why. in less than a month, school commences, i'll once again be submerged in the never ending sea of projects and consultations, and concert's coming too. speaking of concert,

Rondeau 20th is on 26th November, at Victoria Concert Hall, at 7pm.

tickets are at stall: $10 and circle: $12

yes people, i happen to be selling circle seats, thank you ((=

*besides the point, i'm disappointed. eat slugs, suckers.

woooo

2005-10-07T12:59:00.000+08:00

oh yay i can blog again! fantastic!

anyways, this is for the week's events.

Went out on tuesday, haven't been out like that in a long time haha so, thanks. i watched the myth, a movie i've been wanting to watch for ages. the show was really really good, the korean and indian girls were darned pretty! great figures, beautiful faces, haha the envy of all girls. overall, i loved the movie, except that when jacky chan said the show was his first serious one, i really expected it to be serious. his present day self was quite... funny still. i mean the fighting scenes.

i went out on wednesday with sarah jane, to watch the andy lau movie. boy, was it touching! i cried at the last part, though the ending was very abrupt. that, and the whole storyline being too short. and I LOVE THE TWIST. it was so subtle and yet impactful. 2 twists in the story, that andy lau's mom was indeed the third party, and that he could never be young again. whoa. good. really good.

thursday night was interesting. i had band, and then went for supper where i read something appalling. i think if this is the case, mr wenrui, you should know that i help those who help themselves. stop being such a drag and complaining about everything under the sun and expecting people to help you when you dont bother to lift a finger to help. and when i say i'm busy, i really am. yes i'm from french horn, what's with the french horn section?!

well excuse me but i'm not against you la, it's just that i dont see your logic. before i even set up my horn, and finish doing all my other chores like band camp stuffs (which apparently you didnt take part in or even appear for a second), i'm supposed to help your section la. so now, your section is my priority? over my other admin stuffs and even setting up and warming up on my horn? and so if this is a band, u see so few people there to set up the chairs, u leave it to me, yunshuang and lawfatt to set up chairs for the band when i told you to help out? so, this is a BAND right? not individuals right? i know you all percussionists dont need chairs la. so that means you dont have to set up also right? then why do u expect us to set up instrument for you, and even before i set up my own? so i ask, since many people were around, you were around when i asked you to go in and help to set up chairs, but u just said you were busy going down for dinner.

like wth? that's as crappy la. for goodness sake la. u need help just ask la. when i say i'm busy, i'm really damn busy i tell you. if you don't think i'm busy, i'd gladly let you take over my job la okay. go fill up all those cca points and everything la. wah lao. you think it's easy? it's a darned tedious job, and seriously, taking care of admin for camp and all. is not easy on the comm members. understand us a bit can? we dont have teachers-in-charge here la okay.

why dont you think about things like that before complaining so much? i know u have a lot to say, i know your secondary school band is fantastic. all these, i know. but before u show your attitude, i want to ask you a simple question. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU COME FOR BAND, IN ORDER FOR YOU TO COME TO SUCH A CONCLUSION? HOW MUCH HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN?

you, prolly don't know exactly how much we've done. and mind you, us comm members are NOT your servants la. we're there to be an example, yes, but dont go complaining when you come only once a week or whatever, and you just throw things at us, without a proper explanation, but with an absurd chunk of complaints.

okayyyyyyyyyyy
CHENG, THIS IS FOR YOU

Instructions
1) name 5 quirky habits that nobody knows abt you
2) tag 5 persons to do the same on their blog!

My quirky habits
1. okay, my sister and i are spastic people, so we will blast our computers, slam the doors, and start singing loudly, a bit like fighting la. lol

2. I COOK.. I COOK LEIIIIIII.... I COOOOOOOK. (okay i think everyone knows la.)

3. 2-3 days after the last time i've seen my bed, when i finally go to bed, i'll be damn excited and i'd jump on my bed damn excitedly and cover myself with my blanket excitedly also, and just fall asleep smiling. (sometimes when i pat my soft toys)

4. i wake the hamster up to see him yawn.

5. harrrr. what else? i think my habits arent really secret laa.

okayyyyy. 5 people to do this are: Jason Goh, Fadhleen, Shintya, Sarah Jane, BoonHwee

2005-10-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

that crap was only meant for my eyes.

i cant believe i did such a stupid thing, it's like being on candid camera and not believing it even after the host has told you that you're on candid camera, and not even after you've seen yourself on tv!

omg.

i've totally embarrassed myself. thank you ((=

do not laugh at me anymore okayyy. gosh.

band camp 1

2005-09-30T17:07:00.000+08:00

there's absolutely no drive or atmosphere for intensive practise AT ALL.

there's barely 20 people in camp, everyone else is doing project, or on attachment. and the rest, a bulk had reported on time. that was not even 20 when i counted.

did some cleaning up, slacked, lunch (which, as usual, was like shit), and sectionals, followed by slacktionals. damn crappy la. we decided to ask mr tan not to come cos NO ONE else is coming. yep. coming over would be a waste of time ((=

we're really having mass slacktionals. well the whole band is currently situated in the clubhouse. no one has the energy or mood for playing and practising.

and i think that the stupid camp is crappy on the first day la.

yawn

7 days to bangkok-

4 days-

2005-09-25T03:37:00.000+08:00

Here I am humbled by your majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I’m a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I’m your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i love this song. speaks so powerfully.

nothing's been happening in my life lately. nothing much at least. aside from all conflict, arguement and stuff that happens within the course, and of course some quality bitching AND bullshitting, nothing much, really.

week

2005-09-18T15:43:00.000+08:00

Finally, everything's over.

I'm just awaiting the results; shivering away.

so i went out with the advertising people on wednesday. not exactly my group, but with liz, and yi tse and yawen and abigail and nicole, shayne and robin. haha.. pretty funny lar all the conversations. well but i'm sure everyone learnt something somewhere. YEA?

and i went to sentosa on friday. hahaha. that was so. much. fun!

Sentosa had Peee, Anne, Kailin, Lee, Kailin's boyfriend, and some 3 other guys from Peee's course. i dunno how to spell their names. =x.

anyway, it was really fun, peee and i were applying layers and layers of sunBLOCK. yeaaaa. hahaha. then we were playing around in the water and stuff, while kailin and anne were tanning their bodies.

the guys were playing ball. haha. well we had many crapping sessions also lar. then in the sea where we were harrassed by STARING PEOPLE who were ugly. anyway, the guys tot their bodies were fit and were envious. BUT, they were ugly and they were staring and they were irritating. so nothing to be envious about~ not at all heh.

let's not go into details of the monkey role play. that was a damn spastic 10 minutes. the guys were imitating the whole monkey show. really quite stupid. but hilarious!

saturday lunch was fantastic, was out with cousins lim. we had so much fun crapping, and carrying out extremely intellectual convos. well, mostly between Denise jie and Ben lar. so i was the one who kept digressing the topic because it was OVERWHELMINGLY CHEEM.

but i love my cousins. we always have such fun together. Happy birthday Grace jie!

today, had lunch out with the Teos. hmmmm. Baby Kyan is adorable!! i'm an Ah Yi now. can you imagine that? it's mighty weird, but then i'm so happy to see that fat and cute baby! heh. and it was the cousins on one table, and the older people on the other. celebrating the return of my aunt Kat from LA, and Linda Ah Yi's birthday, and the reunion of the teos ya. withou geraldine ah yi, sean and connor tho. i miss those two boys. and i am darned proud of them! Sean's playing the trumpet in the Naples Youth Orchestra! woooo =D proud of that boy. we have the same birthday some more! so Sean's taller than 5ft 11" now. tall! haha Connor's slightly taller now, just prolly still as skinny as ever. but i'm so proud of them.

had a mass photo taking session. it always happens at all the Teo lunches. many photos taken. i've to print them out one day. heh. my pretty 19 year-old cousin, claire, totally is beautiful beyond words. really. she's in Uni Melbourne now. hope she does well.

so, this has been quite an eventful week. yeaaaa. next week, it's back to band stuffs.

i miss you?

2005-09-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

talk about the finer things in life.

how many people have the luxury to enjoy this privilege? i really wonder.

anyway, on to another topic.

sometimes i think to myself, how many people actually mean it when they tell me "i miss you". have you ever wondered how much you actually mean it when you tell others you miss them? i feel that it's become such a phrase that not many people appreciate it anymore, and people use it freely that it doesnt mean a thing.

one thing i know for sure is that everytime i say i miss someone, i mean it with all my heart. that i really miss you. i really do. don't ask me why, i just do.

then again, how people want to look at it may be subjective. do not get the wrong idea. i just have a lot of love to give, that's all. and i'd give love to everyone whom i hold dear to my heart. and that's.. many people. some more, some less. well, aren't all humans like that? there are these people you love more than others. and love doesnt just refer to the bgr love. if you get what i mean.

bgr love is very subjective, once again. some people don't treasure it when they have it, some people treasure it more than others but end up getting hurt, others are half past 6 when it comes to commitment. people don't even realise the commitment factor. this commitment thing has to grow on each individual i guess. it just doesn't occur to one naturally that commitment is a major factor in love and a bgr.

but heck. haha. i was just wondering la. when people say to me "i miss you", do they really mean it? cos it truely warms my heart. just as i want to warm others' hearts when i tell them i miss them. truly, genuinely. ((=

crushes

2005-09-08T17:19:00.000+08:00

Amanda Lim!! It's the Media Law exam on monday and Advertising Exam on WednesdaY!! what are you doing online and blogging right now?!!! It's thursday already and you havent studied ONE BIT! -ack-

right. much as i'd love to try, i just can't seem to get down to reading my damned notes. here i am, bumming around on my parent's bed next to my sister, laughing and bitching about stuffs, and here i am, going on to type an entry. one that doesn't consist of anything worth reading at all.

and you'd wonder why i'd still write it. well i dunno! i can't stop my big and fat fingers (just like my huge and fat toes). I just got some rather interesting insights from reading blogs. YES, i know. i'm supposed to be reading NOTES, not BLOGS.

so okay. here goes something:

CRUSHES; INFATUATIONS; LOVE

I always wonder and think to myself, how many people have i actually really grew fond of, fond enough to convince myself that they could be the father of my children next time, or the person i could spend my life with, not bothering about living habbits like loud farting or even nose digging? a refined man wouldn't do that, you say. but at home? there's no telling. at home, with all the privacy in the world, you can fart as loudly as you can.

this may seem funny. but then when i look at a guy and think to myself," will i be able to take it if this guy sits beside me in my home and farts in front of me?"

kinda disgusting huh? but isnt this the kinda thing you have to live with when you actually get married? thought about that?

and what's a crush for? to love. what's love for? to exist in a relationship. and what's a relationship for? to have a companion to commit to for life. yep. a relationship is more than just about love and feelings, it's all abt commitment. now i think to myself, can i actually bring myself to that level of commitment? some people get married at 24, 25 years old. that's only like 5-6 years from now, for me!

how many of us actually thought about everything we'd have to accept about our other half? It definitely ain't easy. I wouldn't even know if i could. and my mom goes, "mandy ahh.. you're 19 already, how come still no boyfriend?? how come you can't find anyone?? your expectations are too high is it??" now, what do i tell her?

next you hear her say when watching tv and she sees someone like benedict goh or alan wu appear on tv, "mandy i tell you ah, next time when you find boyfriend, bring home one handsome one laa. then tall tall one, then wont be so short, like your daddy, old already so small sized, wait people say like mouse like that. then some more cannot carry the kids after awhile, cos so small, no strength."

Insightful. but then again, i really do prefer taller guys. =/

I wouldn't know. I realise I've loved not many males. I said I liked them, i could go all crazy over them. when i think about it, were they all but just crushes and infatuations? I'd just go crazy over many for two weeks, or a month, then lose interest.

or was my heart broken too many times? i've met the most ungentlemanly people of all times, that i now wonder what could be worse. let's see. just don't get me cheated. that'll do. haha.

am i reluctant to enter a relationship now? i guess you could say that. but that doesnt stop myself from having feelings for another person.. not yet, i guess.

[edit] oh, and sigh. Daddy's long time good friend, uncle david, has just passed away this morning. He was a good man, one of the best bassists in Singapore, daddy's great band mate, and good friend. I think daddy's very sad inside, but he says that because uncle David's gone to be with God, he's feeling more relieved cos uncle David doesnt have to suffer anymore (chemo every 2-3 days, plus he slipped into a coma a couple of days ago).

so much for being excited and telling daddy how he can call uncle David after he recovers, and the rest of his old band mates and form the Thunderstorms once again, after they'd all retired. I miss daddy in his young band days. Singapore's Rod Steward, they called him. haha. -sigh-

Project SuperStar

2005-09-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

i just have this sudden urge to blog about project superstar.

i know this is kinda weird. but yea. people might ask, is this a show even worth talking about? i must say that the controversies in this show is worth all the talk in town. (=

firstly, a blind guy won. yep. fantastic market value. a blind guy who gives hope to the society by overcoming his disability to sing his heart out to people.

therefore, people gave him votes. now i wonder, since he's won. and yes, play records is a big label. but how many people will actually buy his albums from now on? the challenge starts here. i have to say, singaporeans give sympathy when it's not the time.. =/

this is a talent show, and it is true that jun yang has more singing talent than weilian. and kelly has more potential too. tho weilian has high market value. it seems that it's really all about sympathy votes. that's what i really feel. many peoplr adore him for being the cute and innocent him. and yes i agree with that, he's cute, innocent, and sings well. unfortunately, he doesnt sing as well as jun yang.

and sometimes, if u think about it in another way, i'd be damned if i win a competition like this because of my disabilities (which means his being blind gave him an edge). if wei lian was just an ordinary guy, would he attract so much attention and so many votes? now then, he'd start to record his own albums blah blah. perhaps for the first ones. many pple will buy. but with his singing style which is pretty old and kinda boring sometimes, will his arden fans soon die down and off? a question to think about. sometimes i pity him.. but anyhow, Congrats that he's won!

i'm not saying he shouldnt have won lar. i mean. he did put in a lot of effort..

i have to comment that kelly really did a great job, especially when doing a duet with my beloved JJ Lim, the most talented Singaporean singer. woooot.

and she sang well on the last song too, the CoCo Lee song. whoa. fantastic. really fantastic rendition. it almost sounded like her own! =D good work..

well. i think to me, the highlight of the show was watching weijian and junyang sing again.. and yes. the MAIN highlight, was LIN JUN JIE!!!! see i toldddddd everyone he could sing live!!!

my mom was like okayyy. and now nessa's addicted to his songs. so exciting. i went to HMV to look for his album just now but i couldnt find it. quite sad.. quite in love with his performances and his voice. absolutely lovely.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, never thought i'd be an arden fan of ANYONE in my life, really.

oh well. -shrug-

blahh

2005-09-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

i so have to blog down what happened today!

i was running a fever last night, so i slept early, at 12.30. i was supposed to wake up at 6 to go for medlaw. BUT I WOKE UP AT 7.45!! omg. totally cannot make it. daddy sent me to sch, i reached at 9.10.

went to look for judith and aloy, but aloy forgot to bring the print ads, and dhan was late..

anyway, thank God aloy came back on time. we were all so nervous, because we were like panicking away. other groups' presentations were good and impressive. i'd say, we prolly scored the lowest for our presentation..

but we didnt really get grilled by the teachers regarding the presentation. this was say, pretty shocking? heh

anyway we had a photo taking session in class. it's been a pleasure working with T205. i love the Jade Oracle!

well anyway we had acting and directing class after that. super lame. yes my new nickname according to mr Campbell and my class is mdm vibrator. dont ask me why.. it's embarrassinG!!! i didnt know we were filming that's why i was swinging my legs lar!!! =/

it's been quite funny. but i'm too lazy to indoctrinate everything that happened today. anyway, on monday, the Jade Oracle will be going to Carl's Jnr for a celebration!!!

well two down, three news articles and one radio assignment to go!!

yes, my new blogskin.

2005-08-30T14:23:00.000+08:00

oKay.

so i've been complaining a lot about journ right? haha. i know this should be the last template i use, since i complain about print journ so much.

yes i know, i've been changing my blogskins pretty frequently. but i guess i'm gonna be stuck on this one for quite some time. (=

anyway, i think this skin very much depicts what i'm going through at this very moment. in fact, I can't say i've found a better template that better describes my life at this point of time.

my wanting to be simple, my life being complicated with news, and news and more news? this is frustrating. haha. yes. i'm talking about having to write for the paper. i have no idea why i'm having such a hard time, since i kinda liked writing for trib in the first issue? maybe it's got to do with the management. i really, would not know.

i say, if there weren't so much complications within the management, things would have worked out fine. and currently, it seems like the blame is upon us, the writers. yes some may have handed in their stories pretty late, but what happens after that is really, not our problem, UNLESS the editor is fantastic and doesn't screw up everything and return to us late. If not. I don't see why we should be put to blame. Some times, it's really not our fault we can't get good stories.

look, some of us are taking 8 modules this semester. the way you're talking to us, it's like we only have looking for stories to worry about. and one person says this, another says something else. how can your points of view differ so vastly? i don't get it.

okay enough about the ranting. for journ.

i'm frustrated enough with that as it is, now i've to worry about advert too. advert is not that difficult to do lar. but who's been complaining we've been ill-treating them? someone. i know not who it is (maybe i do), but it's so frustrating when the whole group is trying our best, and isnt it obvious? why make things more difficult by complaining to others? do you actually believe they're listening to you? =/

sorry. i sound very harsh here. but i really don't feel good about this. i believe we've worked well together. we're the strongest group in the whole cohort la come on! get a grip on yourself. we'll have to pull through this thursday.

[edit] I'm currently listening to Fantasy Variations, totally reminds me of the time i went to the James Barnes concert where central band played this piece. and i totally melted at my horn tutor's (Zhong Qing) ultra impressive horn solo. so out of point. but felt like blogging it down. it's 6.17pm, Tuesday. I'm still in school, halfway done with a terribly irritating project. doubt I'd be done before 7.30pm. sob. [edit]

bah bahhh

2005-08-26T12:05:00.000+08:00

it's been a super hectic week.

so many things to do, so little time to do it.

but i feel so satisfied, with my stuff all getting done. it's a good thing you know? to throw urself fully into work and do a good job. haha.

the Jade Oracle, we really rock. i have no idea how we named ourselves the Jade Oracle, but our ads are fantastic and thank God we've received good feedback lar! hahaha.

hmmm supposed to film yesterday. POOR REX.

i hope his wounds are healing now. while the whole group was waiting, Rex got into an accident, his bike skid. he fell. he still came to school to apologise to us and all lar! thanks rex. but super poor thing. and he was dressed up so nicely for the filming too.

well okay.. i miss val and yy and skye and sam lim.. haha suddenly.. the lims and one soh. HAHA. i miss u girls!

the ham

2005-08-20T14:30:00.000+08:00

the Ham

(23% dark, 65% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN SPONTANEOUS LIGHT

Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on dark

You scored higher than 84% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 63% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

hammy is cute

2005-08-20T12:08:00.000+08:00

my hammy is damn damn retarded.

but he's damn cute!! ahahahaha. ah well.

digressing a bit, some things just have to wait. it always takes two hands to clap in anything.

it's what we choose to do. no one can compel you to do anything. ya so just take your time..

hammy is damn cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahaha. my project is cute too. haha

2005-08-17T16:37:00.000+08:00

so.. hahaha

i've one thing to say to Ms Peee: THANKS AHHH
both truly and sarcastically. YOU KNOW WHY!

hahahaha.

i'm damn damn tired. i wish i dont have to come to school anymore. i need rest.

i'm excited. i'm gonna try two things out. one of the stuff, if it turns out well, i'll tell u guys in Sept. =D

those who know already..

shhhhhhhhhh okayyyy heh =D

i'm blessed

2005-08-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

okay. so this has been an interesting week.

firstly. thanks david for helping to settle everything, and thanks for understanding.

so okay. last night was amazingly amusing. first time i'd met guo sheng, whom peee'd been telling me about for a long long time. i was having bad bad cramps yesterday. then i had a headache halfway. and i stayed on for band, didnt go for service or cell. then i followed the rest to dinner, then lastly to salvation army church to wait + rest while they had band prac there.

before the prac started, i realised my wallet was lost. ya. dropped in the bus. i immediately ran down to look for it, and tho i told guosheng not to bother, he still made that call to transitlink to let them know that if they see my wallet, they could call me.

and i really have to thank him for that. okay i already have.

so they really found my wallet. and i really found out how blessed i am. really. God blessed me with a wonderful group of friends who poured their dough out and BLESSED me with their dough, because i'd lost all of mine. thank you so so so so much!!!!! i love you guys... really do.

so went home after going to the place to collect it. mind u, i alighted at bukit timah, and the bus terminated at marina centre. and they still found it. God is GOOD!!!

yeaaa. today's fireworks was SPECTACULAR. i cannot use another word. tho national day's was better, i heard, but the French display was so romantic and bling bling!

glittery and all. so pretty~

and i had such a good time with all of them.. superb time watching, walking, waiting, eating, and singing! hahaha.

thanks everyone for making it a point to come today just to accompany me to watch the fireworks.. really thank you so much! i appreciate it!!! peee, leen, brian, sarah, motherlee, andrew, shin, han, beatrice.. thank you so so so so so so much, i love all of you, really really do!

i'm blessed...... (=

argHHHHHHHHH

2005-08-10T15:26:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHh GAHHH!!! WAHHHHHH!!!!!!! TFOOOHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA URGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

OMG YOU TWO FREAKING INCOMPETENT WORKERS!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS LAR!!!!!!! LIKE HELLO?!!! I'M NOT TALKING ABT UR CAPABILITIES OKAY! I KNOW FULL WELL THAT YOU'RE CAPABLE PEOPLE BUT YOUR FREAKING IRRESPONSIBILITY MAKES U DAMN BLOODY INCOMPETENT LAR I'VE SAID THIS ONCE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN. U DARE ACT ALL BIG SHOT WHEN U DONT EVEN COME FOR BAND ?! CLUB, SLACK OFF, IS THAT ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO? THEN GIVE AN EXCUSE TO SHOW HOW FREAKING BUSY YOU ARE? LET ME POST U THIS QUESTION THEN: JUST HOW BUSY ARE YOU? THAT YOU HAVE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR BLOG SKIN EVERYDAY, MAKE THE BLOGSKINS, AND GO CLUBBING EVERY FEW NIGHTS? SO THAT'S YOUR PROJECT??????? AND YOU OTHER HALF, THINK THAT BY NOT PICKING UP OUR CALLS, YOU CAN ESCAPE?!!!

let me tell u how freaking pissed i am. omg. it's the worse i've seen lar. excuse me but if u think you're so damn busy, i tell u i'm busy till i only have the time to watch a movie in town after school and then go back home. that's like once or twice a month!! damn it. i'm still doing so much more work than u. hello?? committee. to be in the committee, yo actually have to be technically IN BAND? you're not ah.

how disappointing. and appalling. i am so so so so so so. urgh stressed. i wish i can just take a break. i'm so angry...

to the two people who read this. i think u should know who u are.

HI

2005-08-09T00:39:00.000+08:00

this is the result of having a bratty lil tuition student - the demand on having type just ONE WORD - "HI".

cheap thrilled delusion, sarah jane. really. (=

2005-08-04T10:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes.. you have to learn that not everybody may be pleased..
sometimes.. you have to learn that not getting what you want may be part of the way of life..
sometimes.. you have to learn that some things you do are not appreciated.. no matter how good the intention.
sometimes.. you have to learn that not everything is mutual..
(excerpt from Jason Goh's blog)

I happen to find that paragraph interestingly true. Super emo, but please la. face it. the truth is disgusting sometimes. fortunately, there's always a way to overcome truth with truth. if only both parties are willing to make it happen. it's no point for one person to sit there wanting to clear some shite and the other party is acting nonchalant. oh guess what? the other party aint nonchalant.

the other party is just acting... acting..... behaving some disgusting stuffs. and in some cases like these, you can't help but stand aside and watch. because u can confidently pull yourself out of the picture already. the other party is happily lying to himself/herself. it's extremely sad.

okay. SARAH.. i met her for tuition today. that girl was SICK!!! and she didnt wanna go home, and she just took one pathetic panadol pill lar.

Anyways did our stuffs, redid one of her essays with her. HOPE U LEARNT SOMETHING AH PYJAMAS GIRL!!! HAHAHAHA. alright it was pretty funny. she managed to get on the bus instantly when we reached her bus stop. i had to walk on to cross the overhead bridge on my own. and walking up what seemed like a never-ending flight of stairs, i saw, to my horror, on the other side, that my bus had just zoomed past. i nearly wanted to faint.

i waited for another like 20 mins before the next freakin bus came lar! damn ridiculous.

okay now for the highlight. i was stalked on my way home, from bus 62. i never wanna take that bus at night already can. damn scary.. and i know the person was freaking tailing me lar. cos he suddenly stopped to pretend to look at grass AND THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE GRASS CAN!!!!!!! the moment i walked past him, he started walking again. and then i picked up pace, and i heard his footsteps getting quicker too. but i know how to protect myself lar. i walked/ran up to the place where there were more pple. then when i turned, he turned same direction, far behind me also cos i think he couldnt catch up or he realised there were too many pple. SCARY SHITE!!!

-cry-

i ran across that big road? then for the first time i thank God i saw ah bengs. dont ask me why. it was just a big relief. hahahaha.

i tricked sarah into walking to the web cam !! right, PJ girl???? hahaha. she looked like a baby lar. and she did damn retarded stuffs! hahaha. i could just see her and brian laughing profusely. hahahaha. madness!! what a night!

well okay that's all for now. WHY MUST I WRITE CRITIQUES. I DON LIKE TO WRITE CRITIQUES. I LIKE TO TALK ONLY. stupid..

2005-08-02T22:17:00.000+08:00

i wonder when you'll stop behaving like that. i just want peace. cant u just give me that. do u have to make things worse?

things are going fine now. u lead your life, i lead mine. we're friends. settled? doesnt that just make the world a better place? why say such stuffs and ruin things?

i just dont get it. i really dont. it seems like you're the one who's keeping stuffs. i'm not digging if u're not saying. just dont expect too much. if u think i'm gonna be stupid, i wont. it's up to u, the outcome. really it is.

so much for being there for one another. what a delusion. it's the ball back in your court.

oh btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING SISTER~~~~~~~~~~~ mUACKSSSS

2005-07-29T11:13:00.000+08:00

This week has been hell of a hectic week!

Went to the Monkshill band concert with peee SARAH JANE TEO and mother-lee. met merrill and ferene in mac, then we went in to watch the show.

volume was constant, no change, sadly. no offence to the conductor, but i heard from hor that he wasnt allowed to play loud, or the members will scold him. when it's time to be forte, you play mf. when it's pp, you play ppp. there's no climax.. but it wasnt that bad at the second half anyways. the slideshow was so touching! danny seow i know you're gloating over it. yes and thank me for comlimenting you. =D

after the concert, i met up with ivan and ghaleon. havent seen van since his family moved to China. miss him and his little brothers a lot a lot a lot. well cos i used to be so close to them. Thank God we're still close lar. i'm happy enough that Edmund got my number from online and gave it to van so he could contact me. ghaleon, or rather Heem, is ivan's cousin. well his name is Him but i heard van say that it's pronounced as Heem. yea. he's from Hong Kong. came to visit Singapore with van. his girlfriend is here too! haha.

anyway, i had such a good time catching up with ivan and getting to know his cousin. i havent felt so relieved and happy for a long time. prolly cos everything around me is changing, circumstances are changing, people are changing, i am changing too. but i thank God for those precious friendshis and relationships with people. it cant be broken. i'd lose like half my life if they do. haha.

tonight tonning!! yay!! finally i can destress from two weeks' of hectic craziness. i was so pressed for time, thank God i found it in the wee hours tho. haha. i had no choice. but i could last thru the next day! was really amazing.

hmmm. i'm sitting her blogging, waiting to go bathe then go to school. slacker me. =/

so here's jason's baton thing as i promised:

Total Number of Shoes you own:

wait lemme count. 2 pairs of sneakers. 3 pairs of flip flops. 4 pairs of heels, and 2 pairs of pointy shoes. that's 11. but i hardly wear all actually. only one or two pairs of heels and 2 pairs of flip flops that i really wear. and one pair of sneakers that i wear.

The last shoe you bought:

i think it was the white colour pointy shoes. haha. sad case. i need to fix its heel!

Five people to whom I'm passing this baton:

Sarah Jane

Melinda Lee
Cindy Lim Mei Yun
Cheng Yee
Nessa

<3

2005-07-26T00:18:00.000+08:00

i feel so cheated. after staying home e whole day trying to get the whole ppt done for wisp, today my presentation didnt go thru. yep. our group presents next week. there are pros and cons la.

so after class today, me and rachel met up, generated some more script for our radio. after much hard work of trying to get everything done, with many situations coming along to block our way, we could not finish the feature programme. we had too little time on the md. had to ask for extension. so we did radio from 3-9.30. jer came along at 5 to record. we only started recording at abt 7. i dunno if we'd get our extension but sigh. we have no choice. we want this to be as good as possible, no?

anyway, this is so sucky lar. everything is soooooooooo rushed. i don't even know why myself. hahaha.

tmr i'll be watching the very last monkshill concert. all the best to daryl hor!

nothing much to blog about. soon i have to do jason's baton passing thingie.

friday tonning!!!! *lovelove

breah

2005-07-24T01:29:00.000+08:00

okay.

so sometimes i think i think too much. i'm me.. i cant help it. i'm not purposely dwelling on any particular thing. you know? it's just that i always look into every detail that is given to me. i look into every detail of every reaction that comes from pple around me, every detail of every word said and tone of voice. and wat it means to me. how questions to me are being asked. so u can say, i'm a very sensitive person. indeed, i am. but that's how it is.

body language & tone of voice - very very very impt details to me. don ask me why. i'm just naturally like that, and i cant change it drastically to - i don care, that prolly doesnt mean anything to me. but i does.. it means something to me. how someone says something, or how someone behaves when he/she says something.

I just read very much into peoples' words and thoughts. that's why i don't really like to be so flippant about my words. most of the time i think a lot before i say something. only when i'm in a joke session, i know i can just shoot out anything but no one will mind cos we're all just joking. you know?

i think i feel v bad that i've read some actions wrongly, and that i've wronged some people and how they are towards me. i tend to think negatively sometimes when i read the body language and tone of voice. i just imagine. i know that's not very good. but in circumstances where everything happens like second after second, and where news and word gets spread around really quickly, i just piece everything together logically. and if everyone were to hear my full explanation, they'd be convinced by my thoughts. however. i'm not always right. in fact, quite a number of times i go wrong when i read these reactions kinda negatively. and sorry abt that lar okay. i really dont mean it. and it's not like i'm gonna hide it from everyone that i'm like that.

i wont deny that i'm wrong at many instances. because it's a fact, and besides. who am i to say anything? i really feel bad that i made pple feel bad cos of how i felt.. i really didnt mean it lar. so... sorry k. i nv really do express how i really feel at most of the time. because i feel that there's no need to. i know that i convince myself that sometimes i'm just being petty.

people will just think i'm a freak la.. cos i think too much. sometimes i really am not thinking too much. reading deeper into things just comes naturally and i'm not even spending the time to think abt the situation and ponder so much. the logic just pieces together by itself instantly in my mind. it just works very quickly in my mind.

sorry everyone. really.... (= and i'm reallllllllly okay. dont have to worry abt me yea?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to you peeps. nessa enjoyed herself very much with u guys today.. thanks for making her feel welcome! haha she wants to join in again!!!!! tho she's the odd one out.. not from band.. lol.

i love every single clique outing we have. we just have so much crazy fun together!! and i mean crazy fun. the moment all of us are together. it's just fun noise and more noise!!!

i love u guys!!!!!

esp peee leen shin han!!!

and now new peeeeeps are brian! thanks rah and mel for joining in.. please do stay with us! haha. and andrew lee too!

-mandaa

thanks

2005-07-22T20:24:00.000+08:00

[~~i'm done ranting again. thanks leen!~~]

2005-07-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

-not one tear but many-

they rolled down my cheeks like endless violent streams, my eyes hurt when they were filled with these drops. ya. painful..

never knew this caused so much misery i could cry this bad. but, after releasing it through tears, all is well. gotten over it 80%.

what's more, had a pretty decent time at JJ's concert today and sure -smileeeees- loved the part where i shook his hand during the autograph session (looks at peee and lee. looks at jj. -melt-)

hahaha, JJ has an impressive voice. i have something for pple with impressive voices. I'm serious.. he didnt go off key while singing, i nearly thought he was lip synching! HE WASN'T. really.

he has a nice innocent smile. (=

Jason Goh thanks for ur CD.

Jason please thank Peee for her CD.

hahahaha.

bleah

2005-07-18T13:41:00.000+08:00

there's nothing much to blog about anymore, really.

A tear drop finally appeared on my face? just a figure of speech. in a way, there was literally one tear drop that appeared on my face. after i yawned continually for 3 times. (=

Well till next time, this has been amanda blogging here with you on blogspot. enjoy your day(s). (=

2005-07-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

[edited ~~hmm. okay. i'm done with complaining. i'm okay le everyone! dai jou bu desu!~~ ]

Your Hidden Talent

Here is the analysis:

The Mass Communicator

You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

wow? and i really mean wow? the mass communicator part? wow?

here's e link: http://quizbox.com/personality/test65.aspx

anyway, i was very clever today la. i nv turn off the power, then pluck out my charger. then there was a mini explosion and the whole house was powerless. my dad was clever too. dunno how to open some box. and i knew how to open it. but he keh kiang scold me say i iwll make things worse. in the end i open the box for him when he wasnt lookin. hahaha. then everythin okay le. damn lame. then he said to me "remember to turn off e power switch next time" and i laughed and replied "remember to listen to me next time.. "

then i met sarah to teach her english.. that girl is damn funny please. that's not the weird part la. something stupid happened.. super malu.. and super funny and lame. ... dots.

okayyy. i shall try not to do stupid stuff again please. hahaha

2005-07-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

So, the week end was fabulous. and i really mean FANTABULOUS.

After tonning at peee's place, which by the way was a great one, just that i fell asleep pretty early like at any other tonning session, we went to school to report for WASBE 2005 International opening performance. Before that, a lil bit about tonning: nice pasta (yeaaaa), nice drinks, nice anime, and fun games. yup that abt sums it all up. people who turned up were the usual peee (durh it's her house), me (durh too), Jason (another durh), Jasmine, Cheng Yeeee, Wen Nan, and Baby Monkey. Yep it was BABY MONKEY DANNY who brought us the lame games. but it was all in the name of fun.

Now about WASBE performance, it was pretty much screwed up by every person in the band. it was quite funny tho. we werent nervous. okay maybe some were. but i realise ever since i joined NP band, i havent felt nervous for a long time. (= special maaaa.

The highlight of Saturday wasnt our performance, but our first time meeting with NPCB's guest band, Fu Sing Junior High School Band from Tainan, Taiwan. with a total of 94 band members and about 20+ parents and teachers, our band was totally overwhelmed. these children were 12-15 year olds. and boy were they adorable. super adorable. i totally <3 them (learnt <3 from peee n jason.).

Well my first instruction was for those pple whom i asked help from to go and socialise with the kids. who knows, after awhile, the whole band went over to socialise with the kids. omg. i love them can. they are so cute and so so so so so so so so so sociable, friendly, and most imptly, of the same "siao" level as us and totally same frequency as us when it comes to lame stuff!!! and the boys called me "mi shu" and some other girls called me "xue jie". Peee was called "xue jie" by the FA GUO HAO girls. and the fa guo hao girls are damn cute!! hahaha. esp peee's fav yu jing. yupp. vv cute. there's also a little boy who looks like ma rui, and really. he's damn sleepy all the time and super cute and blur. totally dont look like taiwanese. again, like ma rui.

On saturday the people i spoke to werent the students, but the teachers. so wenbin and i got ourselves acquainted with the teachers and the conductor, and tried to arrange a proper time and plan with them for monday's programme. yupppp. had a good time talking to them cos they were so so humourous. it's like, a bulk of the time u cant even talk to teachers this way, ya know? one of the teachers was just 19+ going 20. Her name is Wei(2) Ling(2). There and then, we talked a lot abt stuff, and started crapping abt food.. cos she LOVES to eat. and yes, we became friends. soon it was time for us to go back to school and for the children to go back to the hotel. on saturday night i was too tired to go out laa. but some pple went over to Roxy Hotel to bring Wei Ling out for a drink. too bad i missed that night!!! =( and the kids went for a shopping trip to GIANT supermarket in parkway. hahaha. so cute..

Sunday i was like stoning the whole day instead of doing my work. i couldnt get down to doing it i just dont know why. what happened, tho, was that on Sunday night, we were supposed to take Wei Ling out for a drink again. This time, Wenbin and I organised. With Merrill and Peter driving, we could have more people. but sadly, only Wei Ling came. but it's okay laa. cos she was good enough. she brought to us Taiwan with a super fun and cute and bubbly personality. It's like, amazing just speaking to her, even for a little while, because u get so excited about everything, and everything is good fun and interesting. the fact that she was so bubbly and on really hyped me up. and i'm serious. i had a lot of fun!!

We arrived at Roxy at 11, then we drove off to Boat Quay in search for a nice bar. but it was sunday la. so all closed pretty early. u know what we did after that? hahaha. drove around Singapore, to Chinatown first, show her our Chinatown. then we went to Geylang to eat. the guys were really nice la. they ordered so much food. Frog Porridge to let her try. they dont have that in Tainan.. and then we had really good seafood. then all the guys suddenly got into a retarded time of taking photos of her. like all at once, all 6 guys (except merrill) took out their phones to take a photo of her. they scared the hell out of her, but it was so funny to see her reaction! hahaha. okay.. after eating, Peter drove us around the red light district, and Wei Ling was shocked to see so many pple around that late into the night. it was about 1+ am.

We headed down to Changi Village straight after, to see bapoks. 2am, at the carpark, were many many many bapoks. super pretty. super sexy, super slim and their figures were like -woohoo-! AND WE WENT 3 ROUNDS TO LOOK AT THEM SOME MORE!! hahaha. then u know they were like walking closer and closer to the car.. some pulling their skirts up, some bringing their already plunging neckline a notch lower. Wei Ling was totally blown away by their beauty. so was i laa. haha. we never expected bapoks in singapore to have such a standard.. hahaha.

after bapok watching, we went to bedok to have prata. for the girl who hasnt been out of taiwan her whole life, prata was very interesting.. she loved my banana prata tho.. so i let her finish it. but the banana prata was good la. teh tarik wasnt bad too. heh we sat there for 2 hours chit-chatting and crapping. but after teh tarik i was really awake man! then everyone was tired la. so we headed back..

Peter sent Wei Ling back to the hotel, before sending Huibao home, then me, then Hor. well. it was a good night. so much fun. Wei Ling and I kept taking photos together.. haha crappy. using peter's phone i think =P. i finally reached home at 5am, did my work till 7am, slept till 8am, prepared to go to mediacorp radio station for a DAB visit. haha. =/

after the thing ended i rushed to school. having had nothing to eat the whole morning, i got myself a bubble tea. then i went to welcome to Fu Sing kids to the sch, and led the tour to see our facilities. spoke to quite a number of the girls and boys. so funny, it's like watching a variety show can. and yes after speaking with them for awhile i started to sound like one of them. it's so so easy to catch on to their lingo and accent la! and a lot of pple kena okay. so stop picking on me and the taiwanese accent. anyway, what's wrong with that, if singaporeans can speak english with the british and american accent, why cant i speak mandarin to taiwanese with a taiwanese accent? all those pple who said it was disgusting, i'm more disgusted at ur petty mind thank you.

anyway, we had a music exchange, combining e 2 bands and splitting into 2 combined bands, Band A and Band B. it was easier to accomodate people like this. =D

after the exchange, we had social gathering at the porch of Blk 72. 150 pple there, making loads of noise, BAND PPLE okayy. heh =D and cheering for each other, and stuff. i love Fu Sing Junior High. i do i do i dooooo. <3 them!!! haha. well we took loads of photos, before saying a sad goodbye...

about 10 of us went to see them off this morning. they were just taking snapshots of us from all over as we spoke to other pple. and we were also taking photographs of them! haha. i miss them so much, as i was bidding them goodbye in the airport at 6+ this morning, my tears were abt to fall, and the kids saw. one of them started tearing too. but we all didnt let the tears flow. heh. we'd meet again. we promised. and i miss Wei Ling. Wei Ling just called me at 1+ to tell me they were in Taipei. they're prolly on their way back to Tainan or Gao Xiong now.

goodbye Fu Sing Junior High. we'd meet again, whether in Taiwan or once again in Singapore. Yi An Li Gong Xue Yuan de Tong Yue Dui hui yong yuan ai ni men. =...(

tonning again!!

2005-07-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

whoaaa

am at peee's house now. hmm. gonna have a night of good fun! tonning session again! yep it's the usual me, peee, jason, wen nan, pei yi. with danny and cheng!! heh. damn fun. and i'm cooking later on!

hmmm. let's start with the past one week. i'll say we didnt have a very pleasant time with some people. or rather someone. yup this person deliberately made things difficult for us. greatly stressed us heads. -looks at shintya, peee, wenbin, merrill- dont think i really wanna talk about it.

anyways. have great fun yesterday at lunch time!! met up with peee and jason. was like darned fun la. havent met up like this in a long time. had a lot of funny chats and of course, couldn't leave out the bit where we laughed non-stop for damn long at peee. classic laa. i mean. it's like a tradition kinda thing. and jason, stop making fun of that fiesty chic thing, it's damn spastic and retarded la! haha.

haha. had so much fun laa. then they walked over to my class with me and stayed to chat till i had to go into class. =D

yup. band was alright today. can say that i am exhausted and hungry. hahaha. i cant wait to get down to cooking. then we can eat. if only jason and pei yi would hurry come with my cooking stuffs. drinking a lil later on. then to sleep. tmr, it's time for WASBE 2005 opening with NP concert band at the botanical gardens! 4.30 is the start. so be there if u can! hehs.

bye~

oh where oh where

2005-07-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

it's been quite some time since i've updated this little blog of mine.

I'm emotionally tired. somebody tell me why.

I dont really know what to say anymore. It seems that everytime i've a glimmer of hope, it disappears the very next moment. the hope, is not a hope for something we cant do right now. it's just a simple hope to have the right to love. but it's being taken away from me.

thank God for my friends though. they really helped me thru this ordeal. not that it's totally blown over, but they helped me thru a very difficult period.

this particular image keeps playing in my head over and over again. it's so tiring, i hardly know how to respond. i hardly have the energy to think of why. just so much emotion sweeping through me.

for the first time, i'm finding it so difficult to get over this matter. it was never much of a problem for me. i would be sad last time, for a couple of days, then the matter would be nearly non-existent. but now, although i have so many other things to worry about, this matter still bothers me. it's hard to ignore it, or even to push it aside, for that matter.

okay.. aside from that matter.

i saw someone whom i didnt wish to see on saturday. omg. and today another one. i really got a shock. i don't know how to respond at all. ya know, these pple are plain weird? i'm not alone in that statement, i can say. right, my two good friends P n J? hahaha.

well i'm just pretty much freaked out by what's happened within the past three years. a lot of things. poly life has been pretty pleasant other than some disgusting stuffs. =/

oh well. i love my people in band. really do. esp the clique. brighten up my day~ heh.

lovelove*

ball back to you, dear. (=

2005-06-29T00:48:00.000+08:00

dear NP concert band members, i know this is highly bitchy of me, but i dont really care now. (=

in case most of you have heard about this notorious individual who's dissed the band and put our band down like we're not even worth being put together, been dissing peee, publicising shintya's and my blog, and wanna read about it in her past blog entries, here's the blog entry:

http://mdmslleriah.blogspot.com/

password: blackbonsai

oh btw NP band members, read like the recent archives after our concert date. i'm sure you'd find it entertaining. really.

oh well. dont worry, it's not that i dont have better things to do. i do, but this takes up only like say 5 mins? i guess that's not a lot huh? with that 23 hrs and 55 mins of the day i'm sure i accomplish quite a lot. 5 mins spared to publicise her blog, is really nothing. so dont worry about me. if i could, i'd say 5 mins is worth all this. really.

btw, well done on saying gals are catty. they are alright~ i'm sure cos you've shown a large portion of your catty nature to many of us. (=

response reaction

2005-06-28T14:29:00.000+08:00

my friend's blog tells of some sad story.

to jason: sorry for putting off tonning for so long can! i feel super bad.. but these few weeks been too tiring and busy!! so many things going on! wells. after wasbe please maybe during the break okayy? i promise!!!

I feel kinda bad now. i dunno what i did. it seems like it's my fault that things turned out this way. but what did i do? they just wanted me to befriend you like i befriended them. and i did! and i pretty much liked you. i didnt know my existence would invoke such a reaction or response from you. frankly speaking, tho they weren't surprised, i was shocked. i genuinely thought we could be friends like the rest of them, and we would all be one happy family. but i guess not. you chose to make it that either i'm eliminated or you eliminate yourself. which of course, the latter happened.

why? i really dont know. the circle of friendship is big enough for everyone and anyone. she can accept your new close friend, why cant you accept hers? instead you give lots of excuses.. lots of them.. and it really shocked me. we're both of the same religion, worshipping and loving the same God. what difference is there between us then? why do u react this way?

i feel bad that u think i came between you two. am very sorry. i wish u could be a part of this tho. i really do.

anyway, i'm sitting in the clubhouse and rotting. been sitting here for the past hour or so. waiting for Peee, Kailin n Anne to finish. dunno who else is going. but yea! we're gonna watch initial D!! and i'm soooo sorry Lin! i forgot to bring camera!!!

breahhh..

inquisitive?

2005-06-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

it's obvious, isn't it? u do go for girls with looks and body. both of which, you apparently don't see in me. (= it's okay.. to each his own. beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder what. i understand. lol.

to you, I'm uglier than a lot of people. uglier than this girl and uglier than that girl. being uglier is not enough.. i'm fatter too. right? u tell me how fat u think i am.. thanks a lot.

well. my confidence aint shattered tho. dont worry. i just think it's very interesting to meet someone like you.

you really are interesting. in fact. maybe i shouldn't have been so interested. maybe i shouldn't have been so inquisitive. but curiosity got the better of me. emotions got the better of me.

i think i got my own deserts? but i still am curious to why u treat me in this particular way. i'm very very interested to know. really. (=

urp

2005-06-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

i'm sick i'm sick..

and i cant even get the rest i need. i feel like taking an MC. but i cant, i don wanna miss classes. awfully impt. then again. i feel so sick and tired.. sometimes i just have to skip classes. skipping class with no MC. aint good. but i need the time to rest..

whoaa.. God.. give me time!!

and heal me from my flu and annoying cough!!

thankss

super irritating.

2005-06-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

this girl, i tell you. she'd be the death of me.

I can't believe how immature this is getting CAN.

Seriously speaking, i've never met a bitchier 17 year-old. It's so apparent to me that she's trying to poke her nose into everything, have a say in everything, sound good with her "perfect english", and think that the whole world can't do anything about it. before anything, i "apologise" for thinking you were 18. not that it makes much of a difference. from the way you write, u damn well seem to wanna be recognised as an adult. (=

WELL i have something to say. YOU always say that if we're not happy then we shouldnt comment. well then, since WE are unhappy with what YOU say, surely YOU said something nasty about us, which in this case, YOU must have been unhappy with us to begin with, for YOU to comment about US. NOW THEN, since YOU typed some undesirable comments, cant WE throw the ball back in your yard now MISS? (=

It is stupid of me to address you as miss la. cos you don't earn any respect from me at all. and frankly, i don't care if you have any respect for me at all. however, why i address you as miss, is simply because i'm being sorta sarcastic la ya? you can tell right, from the way you refer to yourself, from the way you speak of yourself. I dont doubt your confidence level. Now all people see is how arrogant you are. I dont care if your band is good or bad miss riah.

No one really does. Everyone enjoys a band with good music standard, no doubt. But u forget that everyone enjoys a not so good band who puts in all effort into making the best music they can within a certain period of time, apart from other commitments. And Ms, if you cant appreciate that, you dunno the true meaning of music. (=

Stop speaking of everyone like they're some rotten rats when you are the one who's behaving like that rotten roach. no doubt, your grammar and vocab are pretty strong. ey, may i ask, where is your punctuation?

Not that my english is like the best around. But stop trying to outdo older people when you've just stepped into MI for say half a year? You HAVENT SEEN THE WORLD, girl.

And when your best buddy asks you to mince your words when u blog, u better take him damn seriously. He's your best bud, and u take his words for granted. HELLO? when ur best bud thinks there's something wrong with the way you write, obviously there's something REALLY wrong in there.

you deserve no privacy. passwords are there.. for simply no reason. if you don't want your blog to be known by all, firstly ur pw can be there. but if u start writing like you suffer from attention deficiency (which apparently you've been doing), you can't blame people for asking others to read your blog la. For GOODNESS' SAKE LA YOU'RE BLOGGING ON A PUBLIC DOMAIN!!!

ur stupid password doesnt protect much privacy does it? u wanna let pple read abt those you're bitching about, then please why are u talking about privacy and all? i don't understand. what's there to be private when you wanna do public bitching? if you think you're so great, you should have nothing to hide what. what's all that harping on privacy and pw being flashed all over the place?

before i end. although i dunno u personally. but if u cant take people dissing your friend (which u only THOUGHT they did but in fact did not), neither can i take people dissing my band. the band hadn't done anything to you. and seriously speaking, you're just dumb to keep dissing my band. i dont care if it was the past or the present, the fact is that you did. and even if i werent the secretary, i would still say this to you.

Lastly, don't look down on these people who don't do very well in english. I'm very sure that in terms of life skills and maturity, they're way above you. my millions of miles. really. you think that just because your english is good, people will be jealous? in that case there are others who are a lot better than you. go drool over those writers then. stop dissing people for no reason already. you say, dont read your blog if i dont like what you've written right? why dont you close this screen right now?

REMEMBER that YOU said THIS: not happy dont read la. not happy DONT COMMENT LA.

dear ms riah: please keep to your word then. (=

(=

2005-06-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

i guess that's what i'm feeling then.

i'd be okay. i promise. (=

2005-06-15T00:40:00.000+08:00

how does a heartbreak feel?

all this time, things werent wad they seemed.